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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column basking in the sunlight of a Native American summer. The colors! They remind us of fresh corn on the stalk! The cool breeze reminds us of hanging out in the refrigerator! The bright blue skies remind us that we need to call our travel agent and book a trip to Aruba!

Speaking of strange and exotic …

We had an interesting phone call from a man named Steve who suggested that we, Summit Up itself, rename Peak 1 and Tenmile Peak in light of the flag fiasco taking place. Steve suggests we – cuz you know, we have the power of the press – rename the peaks to Tower 1 and Tower 2.



His logic went like this. By renaming the two mountains, we could commemorate those who lost their lives on Sept. 11 and perhaps even give tourism a little boost, what with all those surviving family members who want to bust a lung at 13,000 feet to see two mountains named after the World Trade Center.

Well, we like the idea of renaming the peaks anything we want. After all, what is more simplistic than Peak 1, Tenmile Peak, Peak 3, Peak 4 … And why is there no Peak 2? All the other mountains make sense!



Ptarmigan has ptarmigan on it – and in the fall, when you’re driving east on Interstate 70, you can see the shape of a ptarmigan in flight in the aspen trees.

Buffalo looks like a buffalo hump. The Thorn looks like a thorn. Baldy is bald.

Of course, that logic doesn’t go far enough to explain Mount Guyot, Fletcher Mountain or Union Mountain. So maybe Tower 1 and Tower 2 could make sense. And Peak 3 could be World Trade Center 7! Peak 4 could become Pentagon Peak! Peak 5 could be Shanksville Summit! Peak 6 could be Ground Zero Gap!

We pronounce it thus. Now all Steve has to do is convince the Forest Service and the Department that Doles out Names for Natural Features, and we’re set!

Thanks for the idea!

***

We know sometimes people fail to get their words right, especially in press releases and newsletters. Thus, we end up with such quoteables as “The man played the piano with the wooden legs.” Who’s got the legs here? The man? The piano? See?

Here’s a real live quoteable that came across our desk last week. Seems the Colorado Trust doled out a bunch of money to go toward suicide prevention. But the headline on the press release reads, “Trust Grants to Bolster Suicide Efforts in Colorado.”

Whoa, Nellie!

But do never that we, mix up all and words.

***

This just in from a field agent who obviously has way, way, too much time on his or her hands.

You know how anytime you drive west, the carcasses of formerly alive animals litter the shoulders of the interstate? That’s why there are signs indicating that deer could, at any moment, jump out in front of your speeding vehicle.

In Utah, the tips of the antlers on these deer point out in front of the deer, which makes sense because anytime a deer needs to go to battle with a vehicle, the pointy tips had better be there to defend the animal. But in Colorado, the deer are apparently built differently. The points on the antlers point backward! This, our field agent determined, could be for one thing and one thing only: scratching one’s back.

***

We are in love with a new word! Many readers know we are subscribers to dictionary.com, an online dictionary service that sends us a “word of the day” in case we find ourselves too busy to crack our own dictionaries and pick out one of our own.

Today’s word is hobbledehoy, which means an awkward, gawky, young fellow. We don’t care what it means. Anytime you can put hobble in with de-hoy, you’ve got a good word. Hobbledehoy-hobbledehoy-hobbledehoy! Saddle up, young “uns! We’re onto the new adventure that is Tuesday!


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