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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column with the head of a dead pig atop its vehicle.It’s a long, long story, involving a town council member, the Mormon Tabernacle, the Beatles song “Yesterday,” vanilla nut rum, a Maxim magazine girl search and the Heimlich maneuver, but suffice it to say, a time of one sort or the other was had by all.We’ve got your curiosity piqued, don’t we?***It’s that time of year again, folks, when we:) Remind drivers the function of that little bar that sticks out from the left side of your vehicle’s steering column;+) Remind people that it’s time for the deer to turn into elk, or;c) Remind people not to pet the moose! (Or is that meese? Or moosles? Anyway.) A few of these deformed behemoth freaks of nature have been seen wandering around town as they are prone to do, and they’re not out looking for photographers to take pictures of them.Nope, they’re lookin’ for a little lovin,’ if you get our drift, and when they’re in the mood, they’re not the friendliest of critters.One of them was spotted walking down the street in Frisco Wednesday morning. There’s another pair that hangs out at the south end of Breckenridge (the Breckenridge Moose) and a couple that live on Peak 7 (The Peak 7 Moose).These are wild animals, people, and they don’t want to be pestered. We are reminded of the time the Breckenridge Moose wandered into town, forcing the closure of Upper Blue Elementary School and City Market, the complete blockage of Highway 9 and a near-death miss by a man looking to get himself in theDarwin Awards for that year.The moose settled down on an island in the middle of the Blue River and thousands of people began to gather to watch it do nothing. But one man slowly crept out on his stomach on the bike path with his camera. The moose shot him looks of disapproval, and the people watching from the edge of Highway 9 shook their heads and talked about survival of the fittest.Anyway, folks, stay away from large animals, particularly those who have things like antlers, horns and other sharp pointy objects.***We have an Angel Alert! Angel Alert! going out to Mackenzie Rogers!It reads: “I was quite surprised the other day when little Mackenzie Rogers walked past me through my place of business with her arms full of cardboard boxes. “Well, what are you up to sweetheart?’ I inquired. Her faced perked up as she proudly exclaimed, “I’m a Brownie and today is Make a Difference Day!’ She was taking our cardboard from the business to the recycling center! Well, young lady, I’d like to thank you very much and let you know that you do make all the difference in the world.”***We were perusing our e-mail at the Summit Up Land address and were absolutely flummoxed to see who mails us what. Sure, we get our share of Vicodin, Viagra and vegetable oil ads. But we also get stuff like the following:”Important notice! We have just charged your credit card for money laundry service in amount of $234.65 (because you are either a child pornography Webmaster or deal with dirty money, which require us to laundry them and then send to your checking account).If you feel this transaction was made by our mistake, please press “No.”If you confirm this transaction, please press “Yes” and fill in the form below.”Uhhh…”But only for a time, replied the Wizard, shaking his head gloomily. He was a tall, lean man, having a bald head but a thick, iron-gray beard, and his black eyes sparkled brightly from behind a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles.”Add to that story for us, eh?We’re out admiring the dead pig head and wondering when the ravens are going to pick it clean …


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