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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column surprised to be having a good morning because it’s still trying to piece together a previous evening.

We don’t get out much, so when they do turn us loose on the world, we demonstrate the refined dignity and genteel restraint of hyenas turned loose at the Rotted Carcass Museum. As a result of the subsequent evolving disaster that was Saturday evening, we feel reasonably sure we can count the following as facts:

%) Two of our staffers insisted on nicknaming a gentleman large enough to turn them into organ meat “Bud Light.”

Y) We like to chant. We like to chant. We like S

1) One of our favorite barkeeps, from an establishment that shall go nameless except for our insistence on referring to it as the Poodle Lama, tried to sell us real estate.

S and most importantly S

10) Jennifer Pike, we know where your purse is, because Staffer No. 34 ended up, at one point, wearing it on (and we’ll break our gender-identity-safeguard rule for an instant because it makes a better mental image) his forearm. Don’t ask. He returned the purse to a certain establishment, which we’ll just say has a name that rhymes with the Brown Hotel and Restaurant in Breckenridge

° ) Two of our friends got to meet members of our law-enforcement community, which, we think, explains the next-day comments: “I blew legally” and “The blonde girl always gets off.”

* * *

In honor of the second annual Hockey Ultrathon, leave your suggestions for new and exciting varieties of thons to come (could you even have a thongathon without Sisqo?) on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237. We’re out.

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