Summit Up 5-18-10: Convinced Rhoma Irama is kampungan | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 5-18-10: Convinced Rhoma Irama is kampungan

Onky Alexander
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Tim Laman |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s a little wigged out about all the Greek yogurt all over the place all of the sudden. Or has it always been here and we just didn’t notice it? Anyway, we were in City Market over the weekend perusing the yogurt section and we noticed that Greek yogurt is just, like, super in, apparently. There are like 40 different brands with funny names like Oikos and Fage and Chobani. This stuff is more than regular yogurt – up to $2 for a little thing of it.

MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: So what’s the diff?

SU: Well, other than being spendier, it’s creamier and thicker – about the same texture as sour cream. It also seems to have less sugar, less calories and lactose and more protein than other yogurts, but we guess that varies by the brand. And what are we, yogurt experts over here?! Anyway, we tried some and thought it was pretty good, even if we were daunted by the price. We like yogurt to be about 50 cents for a li’l thingy – that seems about right. Two bucks? That yogurt better have an act, as Bill Cosby once said of his room-service egg.

MSUR: Perhaps some of the money is being funneled to Greece to help them out of their economic crisis.

SU: Perhaps. BTW: We also saw some “Australian style” yogurt on the shelf. Not sure what the deal is with that. Hopefully it’s better than their beer …

(rim shot)

***

Have you wondered recently what Summit County folks have gotten degrees from Hastings College in Nebraska? Well, wonder no longer: Kylor James Dossett recently scored his BA in sociology from said institution, which earns him the coveted Smarty Pants Alert!

Nice job.

***

Another thing you might be wondering is what new and curious animals have been discovered recently in Indonesia. We have it on good authority that a spike-nosed tree frog and tame woolly rat were found in Indonesian New Guinea.

MSUR: What dat?

SU: Well, the names pretty much describe the critter, near as we can tell. There’s also an “Imperial Pigeon,” which is way cooler looking than your typical city pigeon – it’s got blue feathers instead of the ol’ battleship gray. And there’s a rare tree kangaroo, not to mention the Papuan Boobook owl. You’ve gotta see these critters: check wwww.conservation.org.

***

What else?

MSUR: Got any Indonesian jokes?

SU: Of course! Here’s from http://www.asianjoke.com, many of which we don’t understand but love anyway. When you read these, try to keep your cackling and mirthful mayhem to a minimum, as it could disturb your neighbor (BTW: No. 10 is our favorite):

You Know You Are Indonesian If:

1. Your stomach growls when you don’t eat rice for a day.

2. You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.

3. You think our country is a democracy.

4. You talk during a movie.

5. You use a bucket instead of toilet paper in the bathroom.

6. You eat fried rice in the morning.

7. You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi’s.

8. You don’t think Jim Carrey is funny.

9. You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.

10. You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.

11. You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.

12. Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you.

13. You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick.

14. You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.

15. You are “Dreaming of a WARM Christmas”.

16. You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards.

17. Your local McDonald’s serves rice and sambal.

18. You think Supermi is a staple food.

19. You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.

20. You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.

21. You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.

22. You have smuggled electronics and porn into Indonesia.

23. You do your shopping in Singapore.

Stopped laughing yet? You will.

We out.


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