Summit Up 5-18-2011: Learning the difference between sleet and graupel
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s highly amused at Tuesday’s weather. We know, we know, we’ve been talking a lot about weather lately, but we couldn’t resist sharing this little tidbit with you Millions of Summit Up readers who are desperately hanging on our every word, even if it does have to do with the same thing we’re all thinking: Could we just get more than one day of that summery like action we saw Monday?
In all fairness, we all DID choose to live in this high alpine environment, and the animals have figured out ways to bear it, so why can’t we? Then again, we at the Summit Daily do wonder on occasion what that little chipmunk over there is thinking when he pokes his head out of a hole in the snow on a sunny day, only to find that he’s perched five feet above ground on a snowbank. How much work did THAT take, anyway?
So, now that we’re rambling on about something we promised we wouldn’t take much of your time gabbing on, we want to share this fun little conversation had among Summit Daily staffers midday Tuesday as something of strange consistency fell from the sky:
Easterner: Wow, it’s getting REALLY dark out there.
Denverite: Ew! What IS that? It’s like rain-snow!
Easterner: That, my friend, is called sleet.
Denverite: Gross! We get hail …
Easterner: Yep, that’s why I left the East Coast.
Denverite: I don’t blame you!
Misc. other person in the office listening in flips on the light switch.
Misc other person: Did you guys enjoy the day of summer Monday???
We’re still not quite sure how our dear Denverite hasn’t seen – or maybe hasn’t heard the term – sleet, but hey, we’re all glad to teach or learn something new.
Actually we learned another term for it: “snain” (we think it’s a cross between snow and rain, but it made us think of something rather more like something extra gooey coming out of our noses). We also learned “grauple” – at least we think that’s what that person said. We thought that was some sort of good ol’ Southern cooking, but maybe it means something different out here in the West … possibly the snow-like substance that resembles little bits of Styrofoam.
And so that leads us in no way whatsoever to the end of the world, coming your way at the end of the week.
Our dear Random Ric has sent us yet another stray alert, which he’s chosen to name for himself: A Bucket List Alert.
Hm. Not bad.
“Bucket List Alert! Bucket List Alert!
“Yep, now that the world is scheduled to end this Saturday, it’s time to clear up those last minute bucket list items that have been hanging around. Probably too late for that camping trip to Mongolia and to see orangutans in the wild in Indonesia.
“If I can find an address for Leo Loncrini I can mail back that hammer that’s been in my tool box since forever. I should get ahold of Carmen Elektra and remind her this could be her last chance to make my dreams come true – I better clean off the pool table.
“I still have a few days to smack some folks in the head with a canoe paddle – even if you don’t know who you are – I do. Tebow – do something before you write a book, like maybe have carnal knowledge of someone; don’t wait ’til you’re 70 to say it’s overrated.
“Avs suck. Woody Harrelson – don’t feel bad that you look like Mark Hurlbert – not your fault.
“If I’ve offended anyone and not apologized let me just say “how does it feel.” Ku’u – love you. All my braddahs – love you; malama pono – see ya.
“If we’re here Sunday lets go to JJ’s and ax ’em whuffo’ you no got tako poke on da’ sushi bar. Not like we asking for loco moco.
“One more thing; been great here in Summit County, met good people, had good times, seen nice things. Maybe we’ll get together wherever.”
Best of luck with Carmen, Ric. We’re rooting for ya, even if we’re not sure what the latter third of that message actually said.
As we all await The End, happy Wednesday! We’re outta here!
(sound of paint drying)
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Uh, there’s more space to fill. Don’t leave us hanging.
SU: Oh, oops. Time to wheel out the Super Esoteric Emergency Viola Jokes Only People In Orchestras Will Get:
> What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
The viola holds more beer.
You can tune the violin.
> We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
It’s usually still in the case.
> How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
Write a whole note with “solo” above it.
> How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando?
Mark it “solo.”
> What’s the difference between a viola and a coffin?
The coffin has the dead person on the inside.
> What do you do with a dead violist?
Move him back a desk.
> What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
> What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a viola.
> What’s the definition of a minor
Two violists playing in unison.
> What’s the definiton of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
> Why do violists stand for long periods outside people’s houses?
They can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.
OK, that’s all we have room for. Sorry violists! We out for realz now …
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