Summit Up 5-22-10: Soon to be a major theme park
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s wondering what it’d be like if we had a Summit Up Theme Park. We were looking at this upcoming opening of the Harry Potter theme park in Orlando (see photo above) and thinking: “Golly, if JK Rowling can create a bunch of books that turn into a theme park, maybe we could do it!”
Our theme park would have a lot of funny critters, like fruit bats and sugar gliders and pygmy marmosets and ring-tailed lemurs, for starters. There would be lots of beer and skiing and one of the main features would be the Moose Jaw Attraction – with dioramas with robotic bar patrons from years past smoking cigarettes, waking up on the pool table, etc. etc. We’d also have an A-Basin Beach Attraction, which would feature adult beverages and strictly medicinal marijuana, as well as the Gold Pan of Yore Attraction, where you’d go through something similar to a car wash, only with beer.
On second thought, maybe we’ll save our money and stick close to home. It’s all here!
OK, here’s a happy note from Dr. Dean Stjernholm going out to the folk s at the Frisco MiZuppa:
“I would just like to give a heads up and thank you to the folks at MiZuppa in Frisco. Diana Armstrong and Wayne Scyzgial have been owners for over nine years and, at the end of this month, will be closing the business. It seems that they have sold the business to another individual who will not be retaining the MiZuppa franchise. The new owner will offer some soups and sandwiches though. I will really miss all of the great soups that MiZuppa has offered for so many years. Kudos to Diana and Wayne … and a great big THANK YOU!”
We’ll miss the ol’ MiZuppa’s too, but hopefully the new folks – under whatever name – will keep up the good, soupy work.
So today is graduation day for Summit High. Ah, how we remember that day long ago! The cheery optimism, the lofty words of the speaker, that feeling that you had the world by the cojones and would soon be traveling the world, rolling in dough, speaking many languages and curing all the problems with your amazing spouse by your side. All that before the crushing weight of reality kicked in and, even worse, the non-stop calls fromthe student loan people.
But, we can put that kind of gloomy talk aside for today and congratulate all the grads making their way out of the K-12 system today. Have a fun summer, do your best in everything you do and maybe, just maybe, you’ll make your way in this crazy world!
Speaking of beer, someone sent us some tips for things you can use “unwanted beer” for. By this we assume they mean beer that either really sucks or has gone flat.
Hair conditioner: According to the makers of Body on Tap – which has been reformulated with a new $14.95 price tag – the complex carbs in beer “have a hydrating effect, while proteins coat each strand, giving them more strength and elasticity.”
If you’re a crafty type who likes to make your own beauty products:
-Pour a cup of beer into a saucepan and bring it to a boil over medium heat. Boil uncovered until it reduces to 1/4 cup. (This removes the alcohol, which dries out hair.)
-Let the beer cool; then whisk it into a cup of your favorite shampoo. Store in an empty shampoo bottle.
Lawn care: According to professional gardener Andrew Lopez, beer can clear up brown spots on your lawn.
The beverage’s fermented sugars apparently stimulate plant growth and kill fungi.
Lopez recommends spraying either home brew or Rolling Rock (both are chemical-free) on the offending spots.
There it is, folks. We out.
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