Summit Up 5-26-11: Where we’ve got Pupperoni on our breath | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 5-26-11: Where we’ve got Pupperoni on our breath

by Summit Up
Special to the Daily
ALL |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that wonders just how many letters there are in the paper today. Hmmmm …

That was one of the questions we were asked by third graders at Frisco Elementary Wednesday when we popped by to chat about the media biz. We guessed 10,000 or so, but we’re not sure. All’s we know right now is we probably need about 5 or 600 to fill this space, so … let’s get crackin’!

(sound of crickets)

Hmmmm … nothing much doing in the ol’ Summit Up folder today. No Scum Alerts, no birthday greetings, no random missives from random folks. The only thing somewhat interesting today is the fact that it has not rained, snowed, sleeted, graupeled or hailed in any way, shape or form thus far. Although we realize things can always change.

But we’re holding out hope that today, Thursday, May 26, 2011 heralds the true beginning of more spring-like, summery weather. Oh sure, we realize there may still be a setback or two. We may yet be watching the Fourth O’ July fireworks in a snowstorm (which we’ve done before, thank you), and Memorial Day may offer up its all-too-frequent blend of liquid offerings from the sky. But dang it, we’re raking our lawn! We’re breaking out the shorts! We’re gearing up to head over to the Island Grill and/or the Tiki Bar, which we think are opening this weekend. And yes, we shall overcome (crappy weather).

***

Speaking of crappy weather, we have to tell you that one good way to pass the time while you’re waiting for the latest atmospheric disruption to pass is to check out the new Jeopardy! Facebook application. We did. We are Jeopardy! nerds, and we loved it. Other options for time passing this extended mud season include:

> Clean all the lint out of our collection of Marine Band harmonicas with a bunch of Q-Tips.

> Clear out the garage of all the sports gear that hasn’t been used since the Sapporo Olympics.

> Play extended games of Risk, Parchesi, Stratego, the Settlers of Catan and, of course, mumblety-peg.

> Dig up the yard and giving all the earthworms we find the names of Catholic saints.

> Purchase a real, live chicken, dip its feet in paint and allow it to walk all over a white, shag carpet. Photograph result. Sell for a million bucks.

> Buy a tread-depth gauge from the auto parts store and assess all our snow tires to see if they’ll make it another winter.

> Get a haircut!

> Go to http://www.tiffany.com and see if we can figure out how to spend half-a-million bucks on jewelry (then practice a media interview where we maintain we are “frugal” people.

> Write long lists of stupid stuff to do while we wait for the trails to clear

***

Random note: Has anyone ever tried a Pupperoni? This is a kind of dog treat, and we got a bag of it for the office dogs who come in on the mooch from time to time. These things smell like the real thing – long sticks of pepperoni yumminess that the SDN canines love to death. They smell so good, in fact, that we’re always sorta half-tempted to try one out.

But we don’t; we won’t go there. We’re just saying, as dog treats go, these look and smell pretty appealing. And if it really was like the end of the world and society collapsed and all that, we probably would not scruple to down a few bags of Pupperonis after all the regular human food gave out. Certainly that would be the “preferred alternative” to resorting to cannibalism or, god forbid, eating cat food.

Truth be told, we had a friend growing up who preached the delights of Milk Bones, and at one point we succumbed to his marketing push and tried one.

It wasn’t that bad, but it definitely had that slightly unfinished feel and flavor – like the last step of the process of creating the thing was left out or something.

Anyway, if you had to have a dog treat, we’d definitely go for the Pupperoni. Or maybe a Liv-a-Snap, if those are still available. But only if it was the end of the world, that’s our little line in the sand.

***

Well folks, we made it through another. It’s Thursday, the sun is shining, dammit, and the birds are singing and the wolverines are dancing. It’s almost Memorial Day Weekend and we’re geared up for all the stuff going on, and hang the weather!

We out.


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