Summit Up 5-7-10: Where sauerkraut hangs off our fenders
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that had the greatest idea for a column topic around 3 a.m. Wednesday. This is often the time when insomniac Summit Up writers get their best ideas for column topics – and also the best time to come up with a topic that will be forgotten come daylight.
Oh well, it was probably just something about sauerkraut or fenderbergs or something. Speaking of, what would it be like if, instead of ice and road gunk accumulating on your fenders, you lived in a place where sauerkraut was hanging off of there instead? You could just hold your hot dog under there and scrape it right off onto the bun.
Think about it.
Looking at this picture of a fox that scored a Slim Jim over by the Sav-o-Mat in Silverthorne got us wondering what the heck is in a Slim Jim meat stick. We tried http://www.slimjim.com – these things are made by ConAgra – but all it told us was the nutritional information (you don’t want to know – lotsa salt and fat, including trans fat). So we Googled a bit and found a Wired story that addresses this question. But it was mostly conjecture. There’s beef, but not exactly Kobe. And there’s some “mechanically separated chicken,” whatever that is, along with corn and wheat proteins, dextrose, sodium nitrite, hydrolyzed soy and, ahem, lactic acid starter culture. Yummy!
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: But is all that good for a fox? An innocent creature of the forest?
SU: Probably not. He’d be better off with a mouse or two – a free-range mouse with no added fillers or preservatives, lightly killed and served as a sort of on-the-go carpaccio.
But, when all else fails, a fox – like a human on a long road trip – will make do with a Slim Jim. At least it’s meat-ish.
Can you believe it’s Thursday already? Didn’t this week just start? At least we’re past the snowy stuff for the time being – or is there more on the way? We’ve gotten to where we just don’t take much stock in any forecasts anymore. It is what is it; or shall be.
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