Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column kicking off fenderburgs that could have sunk the Titanic.
Although we’re happy to do so, since it means there’s nothing wrong with our car (other than its tendency to grow fenderburgs as big as watermelons).
For about a week, we were sure there was something wrong with the Summit Up Mobile. “There’s this grinding every so often when we turn,” we told the cashier at the grocery store, who looked at us like we had just told a tasteless joke. Apparently, grocery store cashiers don’t dispense automotive advice, even if you’re willing to give up the coupons that come with your receipt.
It took us a few days to realize that, hey, that grinding noise – it could have something to do with that obsidian lump in the wheel well. You know, the one pressing up against the tire.
Our fenderburgs have a fear of abandonment. At least that was our excuse for giving up kicking them after they refused to be shaken loose. Fortunately, however, with these recent warm days, we were able to break their grasp on our ride.
But if anybody has any advice for preventing the buildup of these things, say, an invention for fenderburg deterrent devices we could possibly steal the patent to and retire for life on, let us know at
email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just sing us a Celine Dion song on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
Now that the trials for the trio accused in the Halloween 2002 beating death of Cody Wieland are in various stages of beginning, it makes us marvel at the institutional sluggishness of the legal system.
Don’t get us wrong, it’s a fair system that has done us proud over the years, but darn, it’s been more than a year since Wieland died, and we’re just now BEGINNING to start trying the suspects.
The constitutional guarantee is for a speedy trial. Fifteen months after the incident is not speedy. By the time this is resolved, it will likely be more than two years from the incident.
We’re not sure who is slowing the process, whether it’s the defendant who wants to postpone his fate, or the prosecution and judges who want to take extra care every step of the way.
This is going on in the Kobe Bryant case as well. It’s now widely assumed that a trial won’t have a chance of beginning until after the NBA season, in June. By the time all is said and done, the one-year anniversary of the incident will likely have come and gone, which will have been quicker than any resolution on this Breckenridge Halloween death.
If a defendant has a right to a speedy trial, the public has a right to a speedy resolution to these alleged crimes.
On a happier note, it’s Thursday. We out watching our fender cookies melt …
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