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Summit Up

Garth In Paradise, Scott Bullock
ALL |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that should clear something up right now and get it out of the way.

No, the cute little girl on the front page of yesterday’s paper was not, er, mining for gold.

We had one caller Thursday who found it appalling that we would choose not to uplift Summit Up Land’s youth, but instead embarrass them by putting pictures of them picking their nose on the front page.

Our man behind the lens tells us he used the photo software to zoom in as far as he could and determined that, no, it was not a pick, it was a scratch.

So this young lady has nothing to be ashamed of, and, in fact, we thought she looked kind of cute. Everyone has itches, dear, and we shouldn’t be afraid to scratch them (except for you guys – we hope you know when and where not to scratch).

***

We have a Surprise Announcement. That’s right, this an exclusive breaking news story brought to you by our crack investigative scoop team (which, admittedly, looks a lot like two pimply teenagers sitting in a dark room scouring the Internet for gossip).

Anyway, we have it on good authority that the reason Sam Mamula, mayor of Breckenridge, is not running for re-election is because he can’t wait to get back to the real world. Or should we say, “The Real World” on MTV.

Yup, the casting people gave us a hot tip that MTV is hoping to attract more viewers with silver in the coif, if you get our drift, and Mr. Mayor has just the personality they’re looking for. Joining him will be Louis Farrakhan (because, what’s a Real World season without racial tension?), County Commissioner Gary Lindstrom and local arts guru Sandy Greenhut.

“We really wanted to cast some of these younger Breckenridge people, but all the guys – and the girls – all wear these stocking caps,” one casting agent said. “And we couldn’t understand them. What does “I’m stoked for the freshies’ mean?”

Then again, it could all be a rumor.

***

Friday is here, ladies and gentleman. Let’s make it feel welcome and loved.

Send your most embarrassing parent stories to summitup@summit

daily.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just cry, cry, cry onto the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.

We’re out someplace private where we can scratch this …


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