Summit Up 6-17-12: Getting ready to race an outhouse
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is becoming very jealous of its own newspaper. It seems the paper and ink on which this column appears have been enjoying more vacations/leisure time/world adventures than the columnists who write it. Way more.
In the last few weeks alone we have received evidence that copies of this very newspaper have been to Peru, Oahu, Honduras, Vegas, Bonnaroo and scuba diving 100 feet below some lovely body of water.
Frankly, we’re starting to get a little jealous.
So, we would like to take this opportunity to ask all the globetrotting SDN enthusiasts out there to consider, rather than taking your local newspaper along with you on your next vacation, taking your local newspaper reporter.
Here are five good reasons why a journalist makes a better holiday travel companion than a newspaper:
Newspapers wrinkle much faster than journalists.
A newspaper contains the news of the day. A journalist contains the news of all the days.
Journalists don’t get soggy when you take them scuba diving.
A journalist can write a lovely travel story about your trip afterward.
A newspaper tries to sell you drinks. A journalist can buy you drinks!
There you have it: a watertight argument for bringing us, rather than our publication, on your next vacation. Hell, if it means a lot to you, we’ll even let you hold us over your head for pictures in various exotic locations. Just please take us with you!!
Or you could just keep sending us pictures of our paper in all the awesome tropical locations we are not. That’s fun too.
Folks, today is Father’s Day, the day when we celebrate dear old Dad. The dude who taught us to throw a baseball, treat a lady with respect and drive around aimlessly for hours refusing to ask for directions. The guy spent a lot of Fourth of July parades with small people on his shoulders and never complained about all the gummy bears and pieces of chewed gum that ended up stuck to the seats of his new car. So don’t forget to say thanks and buy him a beer.
Or show him how much you care by tossing him in a make-shift outhouse and racing it through the streets of Breckenridge.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Huh?
Summit Up: That was our poor attempt at a smooth transition to the next topic of discussion on today’s agenda, which will be Kingdom Days over in the Kingdom of Breckenridge.
MSUR: Oh, yeah, that’s today, isn’t it? Ya know, we’ve always wondered why they call it Kingdom Days. Could you give us the official scoop on this shindig?
SU: We’re so glad you asked, because it gave us time to Google Kingdom Days. We’ve got the following from the Breckenridge Resort Chamber:
“Join us in reinventing Breckenridge’s colorful past during the fifth annual Kingdom Days. Celebrate over 150 years of Breckenridge’s diverse history with mining, exploration and adventure. Founded in 1859, Breckenridge was inadvertently excluded from some copies of the U.S. maps, becoming known as “Colorado’s Kingdom” until 1936 when it finally became incorporated. For an entire weekend, this real town turns upside down to pay tribute to gold fields and mining, exploration and adventure, brothels and saloons, booms and busts.”
MSUR: Oooooh, OK. That clears stuff up.
SU: Yup. So get your tail to Breck for some outhouse races, Gold-Run Coaster riding, live music, historic tours and various other festivities.
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