Summit Up 6-21-12: Now fueled by South American frog-back juice!
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s now enhanced for maximum comic effect by juice scraped off the backs of exotic South American frogs. Who’d-a thunk it?We are, of course, referring to a very curious story that came out this week about how certain horse-racing enthusiasts have managed to enhance their steeds’ performance using – and we are not fabricating this information – “a powerful performance-enhancing potion drawn from the backs of a type of South American frog.” That’s according to the N.Y. Times, with the story going on to say: “But for months post-race testing could not find the substance, a painkiller far more powerful than morphine. Then a lab in the Denver area tweaked its testing procedure, and in recent weeks more than 30 horses from four states have tested positive for the substance, dermorphin, which is suspected of helping horses run faster.” Pretty weird, eh? It also says cobra venom has been used on horses in the same way, which for our money may be even cooler and weirder than frog-back juice. Although we remember back in our kangaroo racing days, we used to juice-up our ‘roos with a potent cocktail of sea urchin venom, echidna scent-gland secretions and extract from the pituitary glands of narwhals. Man, that made those marsupials peel out like nitro-burning funny cars! But then we got caught, race officials said it was “doping” and we had to find work on Lance Armstrong’s pit crew for a while, where we whiled away the hours trying to think of new ways to pierce the skin without leaving a trace.But that, as they say, is another story …BTW, in case you’re wondering how frog juice or cobra venom helps a horse win a race, the key is a substance called demorphin, which deadens pain and can make the horse feel excited and euphoric, according to the Times.***Speaking of zombies, even though we weren’t (but they’re always on our mind), we were intrigued to hear of the Zombie Storm in the Atlantic Ocean, which is over there by New Jersey. According to an email we received from AccuWeather, Tropical Storm Chris formed on Tuesday and, on Wednesday, was “acting like a ‘zombie’ storm.”MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: What could that possibly mean?SU: Well, listen:”The storm is still alive, but it should not be,” AccuWeather.com senior meteorologist Rob Miller explained. “The storm is not in a region that is prone to tropical development. Water temperatures are in the low to mid 70s.”***OK, here’s a Smarty Pants Alert!! Smarty Pants Alert!! going out to Tara Molloy. Proud parents George & Molly Molloy of Breckenridge write thusly:”Tara is a Summit County kid from her start at Carriage House Daycare (back when it was in the basement at Father Dyer’s church) to graduating Summit High (2006). While known as Tara Hall then, Tara Molloy is back in Breckenridge after graduating CU (with two degrees) for the summer and is planning to move to Chicago this fall. Family and friends are very proud.”Nice workd Tara!***Finally today we have an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! from the Summit Historical Society folks who write thusly:Rob Coker of the Dillon Police Dept. goes above and beyond the call of duty for the town of Dillon. He noticed that the Old Dillon Schoolhouse Museum’s Lula Meyers Cabin’s peeling trim could use some paint. On his day off, he and his son Coy painted the cabin’s trim. The museum is completely supported by memberships, donations and volunteers. It is people like Rob and Coy who help keep our history in Summit County alive and looking good. A huge THANK YOU to Rob and Coy for their efforts!”Very cool, nice job guys! Those old historical buildings out there can always use a fresh coat o’ paint, and we’re sure all the ghosts surrounding it were stoked for the little bit of facelift!We out.
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