Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column scratching its noodle over the genus rodentia. Ya see, we were high atop Sapphire Point watching oodles of excited kids holding out sunflower seeds and nuts for a swarm of chipmunks, when out from under a rock, a rodent of a different color appeared. “Whoa,” said we. “What the heck is that thang?” (see photo above). We watched the cute little bugger forage for nuts and seeds amongst the other spotted beasts and got to thinking about Hans Christian Andersen’s “Ugly Duckling.” Maybe this little guy was being made fun of among its ranks, when actually he is destined to become some kind of Mighty Mouse. Ya never know. Maybe it was just an albino chipmunk with unusually big ears? We solicit our rodent readers to set us straight on this one.***Moving on, we here in the Corporate Suites were pondering our handshakes this morning and someone entered our newsroom and reached out with a limp fish. Yuck, we said to ourselves and instantly went about shaking each other’s hands to see if there were any limp fish shakes amongst our own. It was broadly acknowledged there are some familiar shakes out there we just don’t like.1) The light finger shake you might see a lady at a polo match offer from under a parasol.&) The overgrip – usually a man who makes you want to think he doesn’t know his own strength and he monkey-claws you to death.+) The grip-and-pull-you-in shake.@) The long handshake with lots of shakes and nodding going on.467) The missed shake, where you go for the shake, come up a little short and end up offering the lady-under-the-parasol shake by accident.One Summit Up staffer claims that if the “missed” shake happens to him, he always calls for a re-shake to set the shake record straight.***Have you seen Denver’s new ad campaign to get people to conserve water? We have, and it’s a doozy!Brush every other tooth! a billboard reads.We’re getting the visual on this, and it’s not very pleasant. And how time-consuming can this be? And how does it save water? Do you use only half the water to rinse your mouth as you do to rinse the whole thing?Another billboard says, “It’s a drought: Do something!”What the heck is that supposed to mean? Do something? Like what!? Run a marathon? Seek public office? Adopt a pet? It hardly offers up any useful advice.So we will. (You knew that was coming, didn’t you?)) Stop watering the damn sidewalks!#) A day without water is like a day without water8) You’ll save water when Lake Dillon goes dry! Then see how you like it!V) Drink beer, not water>) If it’s yellow, leave it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down.%) Stop watering the damn sidewalks!
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