Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column hoping someone can explain why rain smells.
No. We actually want to know why it smells before it rains, and why that smell is different than the smell during and after. And furthermore, how come when we spray water from the hose all over the sidewalk it doesn’t smell like rain?
Summit Up Staffers here at the Corporate Suites are offering all sorts of explanations: grass, flowers, ions, but when they started talking about our O-zone we told them to stop, or we’d have to file harassment charges.
This is probably just a simple meteorological-chemical phenomenon, but it gets more complicated when you think about this: Whatever your explanation for it, why doesn’t it also smell around snowfall? Why don’t you hear people say, “Smells like it’s going to snow” (outside of Daryl Strawberry Fan Club meeting invocations ).
And, if we could somehow capture that rain smell in a bottle, reproduce it and then release it in large quantities, could we make it rain? This might be a lot more effective than seeding clouds or inviting the indigenous to do a little dance.
Just a thought. You can send your scientific theories, experiment results and four-color charts to firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just scream “Eureka!” (or “You-reeka-like-a-rain-a”) into the voicemail at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237.
And the Summit Up Un-Set Up Punchline of the Day: “And the monk screams at God, “You said celebrate!?'”
This Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! just shouldn’t even be necessary. Some friends of ours in the ambulance biz called. “You know that fancy green antique ambulance?” they asked.
“Yeah,” we said.
“Well it’s in our way,” they said.
Apparently, that fancy ride (seen regularly in front of Frisco’s Summit Medical Center) is regularly parked in a no-parking area. Not only that, but construction over there has eliminated the route the ambulance drivers usually use to get around it. This, obviously, has certain implications for the injured and bleeding being taken inside. They tell us they’ve asked the owner of this meat wagon of yore, a dentist, to move it, but he hasn’t been very cooperative.
You would think a dentist would work hard to earn all the karma he could. You’d think.
We ran a photo in Monday’s column of a small, furry rodent. We’re saddened to say this photo got more responses, calls, e-mails and visits than all of our last half-dozen contests combined.
Toby, at Summit Feed, called to say it was a wood rat, also known as a trade or pack rat (he has a book about these things; surprise, surprise).
A woman anonymous called to tell us it was a bushy-tailed pack rat.
And, 8-year-old Sarah Rose Million stopped by the office to tell us it’s a pack rat.
We sincerely thank you all for the feedback, but what we really want to know now is … can a pack rat smell rain?
Not only is it Friday, but it’s Workaholics Day. Only appropriate, we figure, for Official Anti-Boredom Month (who sends us this stuff?).
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re out sticking our noses in the armpit of the skies …
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