Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column searching for just the right card to tell you how we feel.
We’ve scanned the supermarket displays, reading every well-wishing bit of prose the card-makers could come up with and still can’t settle on just the right message.
We’re sure you’ve been there, staring blankly at the rack of hundreds of cards, finally choosing one to read, hoping the person you’ve never met who writes these things has come up with something reasonably resembling your sentiments. Then you move on to the next one, and the next one and suddenly it’s 45 minutes later, your eyes are dirt dry and supermarket music is running through your head.
People buy cards for special occasions, when we’d like to express our sincerest emotions to people we love. And we leave the hardest part, the actual expressing of the feelings, to people we’ve never met? Then, we diligently address, stamp and send the card, and that’s supposed to mean something to someone?
Sure, the cards on the supermarket racks are broken down by category: birthday, anniversary, graduation, and so on. Sometimes you even see anniversary for women, Mother’s Day from both of us or graduation for niece or nephew.
That’s relatively personalized. But if it was taken a step further – something like: birthday from half-sister who went through that little thing where she didn’t call for a while but is sending this card to help mend the relationship – then we might be getting somewhere.
But until that happens, go with the blank ones (they’re always the hardest to find). That way you can write what comes from your heart, not send some stranger’s approximation of what a person in your situation might be feeling.
We wrote recently about the newest craze you’re sure to die trying: extreme ironing (and how the originators are simply looking for a little respect – enough to see their sport in the Olympics).
Well, if laundry makes it into the Games, Sherri from Wichita says a few other sports should definitely be adopted. Out there in Kansas, Sherri is quite a big fan of ski joring and dog sledding, and she says they should be in the winter Olympics.
We had no idea people in Kansas were crazy enough to engage in those sports, but we suppose people will try anything just to take a break from looking at the flat horizon.
Anyway, Sherri also says that, since they have agility events for horses, why not dogs?
“As you can see, I am a big canine fan,” Sherri wrote in her e-mail. “Plus, if we show animals and people can get along, maybe it’ll help people, and people will get along no matter what ethnic/religious background they have.”
That would just be too good to be true, Sherri. But, if they put dog agility in, that better include the long jump into the pool event, and Frisbee catching. Hey, throw in Hacky Sack, and we’ve got our own Hippie Games!
Cheer up, it’s only Monday. We know, we all wish it were Sunday, that’s our fun day, our I don’t have to run day.
Name that tune and the band who penned it at firstname.lastname@example.org or just sing away on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237 (bonus points for anyone who can remember a lyric or two other than the chorus).
Sometimes, especially on Mondays, we have trouble with endings to these columns. The intro, that’s standard and already taken care of. It’s the endings that get us, again, usually on Mondays.
We would love to be able to go to the supermarket and purchase witty column endings like we can greeting cards. Until then, we’re simply out …
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