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Summit Up

Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column feeling like a good springtime haiku is in order. We bring you this, brought to mind when we slipped on our deck this afternoon.”The worms are drowningIn the mid-afternoon rainIt’s lunch time for birds”Oh, we know. That’s weak. Howz this ‘un grab yer knickers?”Our skin is bright red

After a snooze on the deckHose me down quick! Now! Now!”***We have an apology to give to Dolores Garcia and her husband-to-be Steven Wheele, who asked us to let the world know they’re getting married today.Well, they asked us to put it in Sunday’s paper – and when it didn’t appear, Monday’s paper. Now, they’re understandably at the end of their marital rope, and want us to get the announcement in before they leave for their own darn wedding!Well here it is, you li’l lovebirds! We wish you well in all your endeavors, especially those that involve deadlines and newspaper writers. And again, our deepest apologies!

***We have a Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! going out to the darlin’ child – pictured somewhere on this page – who has become the darlin’ Linda “The Flying Crane Lady” Axelrod-Pearson!Today, June 8, is her big 5-0 and hubby, Gray, invites you to come celebrate at Tuscato’s tonight at 5 p.m.***We have a Scum Alert! Scum Alert! going out to the phlegm balls who broke into the cabin at the Summit County Fairgrounds and stole the amplifier used for 4-H and Mountain Community Fair events! Unbelievable! Stealing from children! And the Mountain Community Fair is in one lousy month!

It took the 4-H kids three whole years to save up the $850 needed to buy this amplifier. So, sclarge head(s). You do realize if you don’t return the amp, you shall have the wrath of noise inflicted on your eardrums until they bleed. Oh, sure tinnitus is bad enough. Imagine Julio Iglesias, the Bee Gees and Barry Manilow all wrapped up into one nasty sound. Forever.So. If you’re feeling the tiniest bit of remorse, you can return the amp to the cabin – no questions asked – or call Kathy at (970) 668-4142.Don’t bother trying to pawn it; the cops all have the serial numbers.Redeem thyself, pond scum!***We out, eating processed foods, where nothing natural, including gray water, is known to exist. And remember: Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.


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