Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that will never be lucky enough to be saved by cartoon logic and physics.The Road Runner runs off a cliff, and you’d think gravity never existed (until the coyote crosses the threshold of the void, of course). Scare Bugs Bunny so that he turns and runs – right into a wall – he doesn’t bounce off it like those Japanese people on the MXC game show do, he goes right through. An anvil on the head? Just a scratch for Daffy Duck, maybe a few tweety-birds looping around his head.
If it were us, we’d become another red mark on the canyon wall, break our nose and a few teeth and have a scalp flat enough you could play pool on.We bring this up because the title of Freaking Luckiest Man in the Freaking World has changed hands. The belt used to belong to our president (how else could such an underachiever rise to such heights), but the laurels all belong now to Chang Shih-chi.According to the story from Agence France-Press, Chang, who is 68, was in an apartment building in Taiwan earlier this week, changing a light bulb on the balcony. As you might have seen in the aforementioned cartoons, Chang got shocked. But did that kill him? Nooooooo.
What it did, however, was shock him right off the balcony – 12 stories up. But did that kill him? Nooooo. Again, just like you’ve seen in the cartoons, he landed on a canvas awning. Did he punch a hole right through it? (This is a trick question of cartoon physics, we realize – did he trampoline, or leave his silhouette in the canvas?) If you guessed bounce, you were right. Did he splatter on the pavement after that? Oh, no. He landed on a parked car. Believe us or not (or rather, the AFP), but Taiwanese TV showed him walking around his hospital ward in central Taiwan, with no assistance.Heck, we’d be happy if we could just fall off our barstool without getting hurt.
***It’s Friday, but more importantly, ladies and gentlemen, one more day to work up the nerve to jump from that balcony. Go ahead, the Dumpster will break your fall. If it doesn’t contact our attorneys at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just give us a “yabba-dabba-doo” on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out shopping at the ACME store with Wiley …
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