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Summit Up


Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only column that reminds Summit Up Land visitors to keep their car windows ROLLED UP.Seems a group from Texas was rolling through the area and decided to take a break at Vail Pass.”We were doing just fine until we rolled down our windows,” one woman was heard to say. “The altitude came in and we all got sick.”Hooo-ahhh! We haven’t heard a good one like that in a LONG time! They apparently drove their ill bodies down to the clinic in Frisco – a much lower elevation – and were, we presume, told to keep their windows rolled up and put on their own oxygen masks before assisting younger passengers.???Summit Cove and Keystone residents Jim Unbehaun, and bike-riding pals Julie Sutor, Bill Mitchell, John Keef, Matt Roessner and Ryan Huth (the latter four of whom are riding in the Multiple Sclerosis 150 race from Louisville to Estes Park and back next weekend), want to send a huge Angel Alert! Angel Alert! to all those who donated time, money, support and general good feelings toward their fund-raising efforts at the Out of Bounds restaurant in Keystone Monday night.We don’t know how much this fine event garnered the Sutor/Mitchell/Keef/ Roessner/Huth quintet, as we wrote this Monday-for-Tuesday, but the group hoped to raise $1,000. Sutor had a personal goal of $2,500.Go team, go! Help fight MS! Angel halos to you for your good deeds!***We here at Summit Up firmly discourage ourselves from borrowing jokes from cyberspace, but just couldn’t pass this one up.These are supposedly real analogies and metaphors submitted by real students at a real high school near you. Really.) Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.K) His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.$) He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.g) Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.+) Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.3) Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.comaaakk/ch@ung but gets T:flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.N) He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.@) The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.) Long separated by cruel fate, star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.)) John & Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.C) He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.?) Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.~) Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.N) The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile./) “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on Dollar Beer Night.) She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.*) It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.–) The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.0) The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.$) The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.t) It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.1a) He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.O) She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature beef.vb) She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.Wow. Let’s hear it for the American education system. It’s as impressive as the last firework boom you hear at the end of a Fourth of July display when everyone cheers and toasts their beer and goes home.???We toastin’ and out.

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