Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering how this Internet thing got this far.It’s invaded our minds. We were on our way to the Corporate Suites one day and ended up sitting in traffic. While waiting for the broken stoplight to be fixed, the strangest things started happening. Our field of vision became pixilated. And out of the corner of our eyes, we saw a twirling clock. Stop. Forward. Back. Refresh!We got through it. Apparently, though, our rosy cheeked politicians have not. At the upcoming conventions, about 50 “bloggers” will be credentialed for covering the event and posting the coverage beside cute pictures of their girlfriends. Excuse us. “Bloggers” isn’t exactly PC. It’s “Internet journalists,” now.And to all the bloggers we say, “Welcome.” But, there are some things you should know before you dive into the media pool.& When you interview a candidate, you must make your mustache twitch. It shows sophistication. Think, “Geraldo, pre-chair.”# Never slap a source.@ Before you leave in the morning, make sure your leisure suit and fat tie match the wool hat you’re wearing. If you feel frisky, add a feather!© When you see two people whispering, start circling them like a shark. Hold your recorder (or notebook) up like it’s your dorsal fin and, magically, you’ll get all the dirt! At Harvard, they call it, “sharkin’.” Never hesitate to yell, “Stop the press!” even though you’re a webby. It’s instant credibility to the feisty clowns of the media circus.® And finally, follow the advice of our editors. “Don’t write long.”***Tim Ventrella, who works for the town of Frisco, spent time during the last three weeks picking up all the cigarette butts he found on the Frisco disc golf course, even though smoking is prohibited on the peninsula. He left a nice note for golfers asking them to please refrain from smoking while playing golf.His wife, Eve, put it better: “We feel that people’s blatant disrespect of the FREE public disc golf course could use a little more exposure; not to mention the disrespect of the forest fire hazard.”Tim and Eve, thank you for keeping Summit our little Garden of Eden. And for all you disc golfers littering up our peninsula, a simple “Shame on you” should suffice.***Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!!The town of Frisco tells us that some bootless, scurvy whey-face stole the town’s events cart on July 4. It’s a big yellow cart with rubber wheels, so our field agents should have no trouble spotting it. And when they do, you base bugbear, they’ll be hissing and booing at you, and you’ll no doubt feel so ashamed (at having stolen something quite useless to you) you’ll return it. Or, save yourself the pain and embarrassment and wheel it on down to town hall.***Dan, on the other hand, has an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! for all the emergency services employees that keep us all safe (while they go insane) over the holidays.”How about a ‘Well Done and Thank You’ to our men and women in uniform – here at home, for their dedication and hard work to keep the yahoos from injuring themselves and the innocent,” Dan wrote in his e-mail. “State, county and municipal police, firefighters, EMT and rescue units, even Animal Control have a busy time on the Fourth!”Dan also noted that many people were still in Reagan-mourning mode, even on Independence Day, as they flew their flags at half-staff.”Apparently several folks didn’t get the memo,” Dan writes. “‘W’ curtailed the half-staff flag rule for the Fourth as a tribute to the fallen president, but there were still a lot of half-staffed flags around this weekend. Or maybe there are just a lot of Lakers fans who still can’t accept the downfall of their dynasty!”***Tell us how to be a journalist at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just give give us an “Extra! Extra!” at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237. We’re out buying dictaphones.
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