Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering how many golf fans were laying in bed (early) Sunday morning shouting at their TV sets.For those that weren’t paying attention (and that’s fine; we understand), the British Open was going on in sunny England this week. With the time difference across “the pond,” you had to get up pretty early to watch the live action (if you can call it that).We had one fan in our house. We know because we could hear him shouting at the TV in his bedroom, no doubt snug in his covers still, at 6 a.m.And the couch potato evolves …***Anybody tried to buy a squirt gun lately? We haven’t (silly rules about felony lawn watering restriction-breakers not being allowed to own waterarms), but Dan in Fairplay has.”In my spare time, I’m trying to teach a trio of squirrels which food is theirs and which is not. (I know, a foolish effort, but the squirrels seem to enjoy the game.) I decided I might make my point with a good wet shot from a squirt gun. I can’t find one in any store! “Have we lost all control of our children that stores do not want to get involved, or is it our litigious society that has maxed out? (‘He DAMPENED my DOCKERS! Call my attorney!’)”Actually, Dan, we know they still make and sell them. But you’ll have a hard time finding the kind we all played with as kids. Nowadays, they don’t make a squirt gun smaller than a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. We saw plenty of them at the Fourth of July parades – the kids were shooting at the jets flying overhead and giving all the firefighters in the parade hose envy. Dan’s also been reading the news out of D-town this week. “On the other end of the scale, I think, as a public service, Summit Up should print a half page sign for the use of folks going down to Denver that states:DENVER POLICE DEPT.DON’T SHOOT!I AM UNARMED!I WILL GO QUIETLY!”Some might wish to send this sign down to friends in the city to post on their bedroom doors and windows!”The publishers might not go for that, but we will warn people not to do anything suspicious or threatening, like lie down in their beds.***This is sort of a good news/bad news kinda deal, but we’ll go ahead and call it an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!!Darin, superstar at the Breck rec center, called to say that some artless ruffian ganked his bike from outside the St. Bernard on the Fourth of July, which didn’t make much sense to him: “It was all Frankensteined together with parts from different bikes – but it got me from A to B.”Darin called his friend at the Breck police department to see what he should do. His friend, Officer Glenn Langhans said, “Hey, I’ve got a bike, I’ll just give it to you.” And he did.”That was pretty darn cool,” Darin said, and we’re inclined to agree.***Say hello to Monday and a new week, good readers. We’re gearing up for a Summit Up Expedition to Mexico next week, so if anybody has any suggestions on trinkets we should bring back, tequilas we should try or good immigration lawyers who can help us return home, let us know at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just recommend some good antibiotics on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out practicing rolling our R’s …
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