Summit Up 7-16-11: Oppressed by paper towels | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 7-16-11: Oppressed by paper towels

by Summit Up
Earth
ALL |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that has only a long, narrow window of opportunity today to construct a mostly pointless diatribe about paper towels.

For starters, your typical tri-fold paper towel is too small for one basic hand-drying episode, yet using two seems like overkill. For all you paper towel manufacturers out there reading this, we suggest you create a new towel size that’s roughly 150 percent of the current size. That way we can get by with just one towel instead of two and thereby saving 50 percent of the amount of paper used. We think.

So often when we’re in public restrooms we’re surrounded by other people expressing exasperation at the paper towel dispensers. As they get more and more fancy (i.e., they no longer are the simple tri-fold towel but, rather, have elaborate dispensing systems aimed at … we’re not sure what) we find ourselves wiping our hands on our pants rather than suffer through the frustration and humiliation of trying to extract paper either by waving our hand mysteriously in front of the electric eye part of the machine, or trying to spin some stupid little wheel with dripping hands or tearing at the roll only to come up with a square of paper about the size of a postage stamp.

What’s wrong with the world today that we can’t come up with a decent way to dry our hands in a public restroom??? The best solution are the high-powered dryers we see, often at the resorts. But how much coal are we burning to use those things?

Aaagggghhh! We out.


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