Summit Up 7-20-10: Mind yer weeds n’ cooties
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s got germs and weeds on the brain. We were noting the mysterious absence of the Skittles machine in our lobby Monday and got into a discussion about gumball machine type things in general. Our mommas always told us these things were evil (and now our wives do as well), because the candy is not hermetically/cryogenically/hygienically sealed and will no doubt give us rickets, scurvy, the marthambles, lockjaw and the blind staggers if we eat it.
We’re not sure about that. We’ve mowed our share of gumball-machine crap over the years, including the occasional handful of Hot Tamales from our lobby machines and, s’far’z’wee know have suffered no ill effects (although that bout of mysterious projectile ear wax we suffered in March may well have been from the Tamales – who knows).
This led to a discussion about our OCD dealio regarding never touching door knobs – especially those in bathrooms – because ‘everyone’ now knows door knobs are the leading staging ground for cooties of all nations, viruses from outer space, pathogens from (gasp!) Chinese toy factories and the left, booger-ridden sleeve of this kid named Sweenie we grew up with.
Since these cooties are invisible to the naked (as opposed to clothed) eye, it’s hard to say what we’re avoiding by practicing this tight discipline, but since we hardly had even a touch of cold the last few winters since initiating the paper-towel-on-knob protocol, we’re stickin’ with it dadgummit!
Weeds have been in the Summit Up news lately, and the fervor over the identity of Ned the Neglected – the mysterious but amazingly hale n’ hearty weed growing on one of the Staffers’ walkways – has not died down. One guy said Ned was a specimen of bindweed, then someone said it was aspen. That same person – Charlotte – went so far as to bring in an aspen branch, which we could presumably bring home to compare against Ned.
It does appear Charlotte is correct: Ned is looking more and more like an aspen, and there are some other aspen nearby, and since that’s how aspens roll when it comes to making baby aspens, we’re pretty sure that’s what’s going on. Aspen are cool that way, reproducing using creepers or some such thing. We had one aspen die in our front yard, and almost as if on cue, another one started growing right next to it. In only two seasons, it’s almost reached the height of the dead one.
One more weed note: Keith Sebeth sent us this photo of amazing weeds exploding out of the asphalt, writing as such: “In regards to your weed articles, I wanted to show you these crazy weeds growing in your backyard, this is on the bike path on Madison, in front of the accounting office.”
Gotta run. Tepid Tuesday 2ya.
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