Summit Up 7-20-11: Celebrating the finest examples of bad driving in Summit County | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 7-20-11: Celebrating the finest examples of bad driving in Summit County

by Summit Up
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Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s doing our best to enjoy the wacky antics of our most excellent driving visitors nowadays. Rather than get mad and uptight, we are trying to adopt a bit of a “what would Jesus do?” kinda thing where we attempt to relish the maddeningly slow-moving vehicle, the abruptly turning vehicle and, our favorite, the “oh crap this isn’t the lane I want to be in” vehicle “so I’m going to pull out the Book of Bonehead and make an outrageous maneuver no matter how many dirty looks I incur in the process.”

Yes, when we see one of those winners (like the guy in the far left turn lane at the stoplight on Main and Summit Boulevard in Frisco who suddenly decided he wanted to go to Breck instead and angled his car into the right/left turn lane to do so rather than just make the damn turn and hang a U-y a block up), we have these little cards we hold up that read things like “10! Great bonehead move!” Or “not bad but it coulda been dorkier” and the ever-popular “You win the 2011 Mr. Magoo award! Congrats!”

OK, maybe Jesus wouldn’t do this, but it’s still better than yelling and gesturing and pelting said offending vehicle with rotten eggs, gefilte fish and whale blubber as the do to tourists in Newfoundland.

Speaking of pelting things with rotten eggs, who hangs onto rotten eggs just in case they need to throw them, anyway? You’d have to be seriously nuts to do such a thing. And a jerk, too.

But maybe it only happens in movies and old episodes of The Little Rascals.

Backing up just a bit, we must say we stumbled a bit trying to figure out how to spell “hang a (U-turn).” Is it hang a U-y, a hughy, a huey, a you-ee or what?

(sound of googling)

OK, http://www.macmilliondictionary.com suggests it’s “Hang a U-ey,” which we guess makes sense. It does go to show you the beauty of the English language, though, where we can just make stuff up to say and to hell with how to spell it. Let the lawyers or the lexicographers or the stevedores or whomever sort it out later, we say!

***

OK, Alastair Stone sent us this thing a long time ago to publish on this day, and we have dutifully hung onto it for many weeks and are miraculously remembering to do it on the day he told us (self-inflicted gold star!). We think Alistair actually sorta plagiarized this from a Summit Up column a year ago, but we’ll let it ride. Here goes, listen:

“Sometimes it’s nice when someone swoops in and does our job for us, which is the case today: We do get mail, this again from Alastair and Helga Stone from Summit Cove who write thusly”:

(Ooh, this does sound familiar …)

“No, it’s nothing to do with flowers, or Helga’s fox, this is IMPORTANT! Saturday, July 23 is the day of the 2011 Summit County GREAT STRIDES Walk in aid of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Many of you know Megan (we are very proud that she is our neighbor) and have or will be supporting one of the teams that are walking.

“The walk is in Dillon again, starting at 9 a.m. at the Crow’s Nest Deck, so we would like you to sign up for the walk (8 a.m.) and/or donate to one of the teams. You may follow your nose through the online process at http://www.cff.org.

“On Friday, July 22, Megan’s friends will again be at the Farmer’s Market in Dillon, as they were last week, collecting donations for CFF. Thank you to Bailey Radek and her friends their leadership, work (on those rocks), commitment, and collecting lots of $$! And thank you, Summit County!”

There it is. Alistair wrote to say his mum died in the UK so he had to be out of the country, so we’re happy to help him keep up with his correspondence while we offer condolences on his loss.

***

OK, here’s a Smarty Pants Alert! going out to Hanna E. Holton of Silverthorne, who just earned her bachelor’s degree from the University of Wyoming in Laramie. Congrats!

***

And here’s an Angel Alert! Angel Alert! from Andy Lueck of Silverthorne:

“I was dumb enough to leave my iPod on the bumper of my truck after a ride this past Monday and then proceed to drive off down Tiger Road. Lee from Alpine Sports was nice enough to grab it and try and catch up with us but we were just out of reach. Looked in the “Found” section of the classifieds and sure enough someone had found my iPod that day.

Thanks to Lee for being an upstanding citizen and trying to find the rightful owner and even looking at the pictures when I got there to make sure it was mine. Good to know that there still good folks out there.”

Yep, and remember “found” ads are always free in the Daily. Gotta run!


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