Summit Up 7-22-10: Fueled by old-timey rye whiskey
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s feelin’ a might chilly this Wednesday afternoon as we write this. It’s sorta cold, sorta rainy out there, and we’re starting to rethink the Speedo and Hawaiian shirt we wore to work.What, you thought we wore a suit and tie or something, along with our little fedora with the “PRESS” tag sticking out of the hatband? Heck, those togs went out with the bottle of rye in the desk drawer and the bakelite, rotary-dial phone.(sound of whispered conversation)Um, we’re being told now the bottle of rye is still in our desk drawer. Funny, we thought it was linseed oil or something. What does one do with rye whiskey anyway? Why did it go out of fashion? What the hell is linseed oil?These and other questions will be written in crayon on an old vacuum cleaner bag and stuffed in a decaying pine log up on North Tenmile. If you’re that curious about it, you know where to look. Sort of.***So a few days or weeks ago, we were asking if anyone would buy a “Best of” Summit Up book if we ever put one together. One guy wrote to say we should do a “Worst of Summit Up” book, which we have to admit we didn’t quite get. (For one thing, since every single letter and punctuation mark we’ve put down in this column every single goldarned day since Aug. 21, 1989 has been pure gold. How would we figure out what to exclude?) Another fellow named George Becker had this to say:”I would most definitely purchase one … or four … but ONLY if they were autographed!”Ah, crafty George, crafty! If there’s one thing we’ve tried to hold sacred over the years, it’s the identity of the writer/s who create this column 365 days a year. Is it one writer? Two? Three? An entire team who work it over in a smoke-filled room every day? Maybe it’s an intelligent gas from Pluto (thank you, Kurt Vonnegut), or a transmission from the gamma quadrant that we translate into English using complicated stuff like C++, Fortran, differential equations and other math stuff that’s harder than Chinese algebra. It could be written by monkeys banging on typewriters, or by some complex computer algorithm we just feed keywords into in the morning.You just never know. One thing we do know for sure is that Summit Up is, in some ways, a love-it or hate-it kinda thing. Some people tell us (usually in anonymous e-mails or on notes attached to rocks thrown through our window) that it’s dumb, completely discounting how difficult it is to create something reliably dumb on a daily basis.It’s not easy. Not everyone can do it. Not even an intelligent gas from Pluto, so maybe there’s more than one way to skin this particular cat?If we ever do a book, maybe we’ll reveal some of the secrets. But don’t hold your breath.***OK, this looks like an Angel Alert! coming from Jim & Judiann Brower, who write thusly:”My wife and I are your summer residents, the weather being a tad better than Scottsdale Ariz. We enjoy the Blue River Series concerts. We purchased tickets for the Aug.1 show. Along with my help she lost the tickets. I went to the ticket office and I had the good fortune to meet Vanessa the ticket office manager. Well, she went for my song & dance. I feel that Breckenridge has a very efficient box office manager.”We think that’s a low-key way of saying Vanessa, you rock! Keep it up, yo girl! And we have to note Jim’s high level of husbandly tact with the inclusion of “along with my help.” Nice move! No doghouse for you tonight!Gotta run, folks. Have a thaumaturgical Thursday!
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