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Summit Up 7-30-10: A cross between a column and a train wreck?

by Summit Up
A four-day-old Zedonk, a rare cross between a zebra and a donkey, stands next to her mother at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Lumpkin County, Ga. Monday July 26, 2010. The director of the preserve says it is the first time in 40 years that a zedonk has been born there. (AP Photo/The Times,Tom Reed)
AP | The Times

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that pretty much figures we’re ceding this week to the animals. So far we’ve had info this week on hummingbirds, bears, chipmunks and golden mantled ground squirrels, so it’s obviously time for a word about the legendary zedonk.

As seen in this photo, a zedonk is a blend of zebra and donkey, which results in a critter that looks pretty much like a donkey with striped leg warmers (think “Barnyard Flash Dance”). Now, obviously, a donkey and a zebra should have little doin’s with each other, what with one being native to Africa and the other to places like Kansas and Wales (sorry, our knowledge of donkey demographics is somewhat limited). But someone obviously put the two species together, slapped on a Barry White CD and dimmed the lights, resulting in this li’l fells who will be teased the rest of his life by the other donkeys and zebras about belonging to neither world. Trapped in this gray zone between species, the zedonk will eventually set out on his own, leaving friends and family behind so he can come to terms with his own, inner self. Through a bildungsromanesque odyssey that will take the zedonk from the mean streets of Dillon to the savannas of Africa, from Hamburg’s Reeperbahn to Manhattan’s DUMBO district, the zedonk will eventually find peace when he meets a lady zedonk -who escaped from the Manila zoo only to be mistaken for a circus animal and made to travel the Philippines for nearly a decade. Their tender and emotional coming together eventually results in offspring that are neither zedonk, zebra or donkey but, rather, a curious amalgam of onager, Shetland pony and prehistoric merychippus.

Sometimes you just don’t know what genes are going to do.

***

Boy, that was a real gully-washer that just came through here! Guess we don’t have to worry about fire danger for a little while. As we wander through monsoon season here in the hills, we were thinking of what other terms we can use for rain. A quick look at http://www.thesaurus.com yields this list: cat-and-dog weather, cloudburst, condensation, deluge, drencher, drizzle, fall, flood, flurry, hail, heavy dew, liquid sunshine, mist, monsoon, pour, pouring, precip, precipitation, raindrops, rainfall, rainstorm, sheets, shower, showers, sleet, spate, spit, sprinkle, sprinkling, stream, sun shower, torrent, volley, wet stuff, window washer.

Nothing about gully washers. We got that one from our photographer Mark Fox who, being from North Dakota, knows a thing or two about folksy sayings like this.

***

We’ve written before about Marci Mollins from Jamba Juice, who sends us news releases all the time even though we don’t have a Jamba Juice anywhere near here. But we do like this new promo they have about their Cheeseburger Chill Smoothie. Basically you take a cheeseburger, stick it in a blender and serve it up. The catch is that it’s not real: Jamba Juice is angry at too many burger chains offering smoothies, and their point is that, if you want the real deal, you should go to an expert on smoothies.

Sounds good to us. Check out the spot if you get a chance at http://www.cheeseburgerchill.com. It’s pretty funny.

Well, on that note we’re going to hop on our zedonk and clomp on outta here. Have a frivolous Friday!


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