Summit Up 7-4-09
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is wearing underwear made of flag bunting, is sporting an eagle on our shoulder and has glued on one of those Uncle Sam goatees. Fourth of July, did someone say? We’re ready!
As we write this on Friday, however, the stupid sky is being somewhat less than cooperative, and we hope that’s not the case here on the Fourth. Even so, the show will go on no matter what, and crusty long-timers love to recall that year back in the ’80s when it actually snowed on the Fourth of July. We are not fabricating this information, although we couldn’t tell you the exact year. The thing was, though, the fireworks actually looked really cool in the falling snow and fog. The lights sorta reflected off the water vapor, making for a rather trippy show. Also remember, as you maybe pull on an extra layer tonight, that millions of Americans across the land are sweating their butts off. They are being harassed by rain-forest level humidity, scorched by desert sun or city heat, and they’re holing up inside where the air conditioners thrum incessantly — not only increasing their carbon footprints but gaining cool in that icky, artificial way only A/C delivers. We’ll take cool mountain whatever over that crapola any day!
All that aside, though, we’ll take sunny and warm weather and a cloudless evening – if Ma Nature is so inclined!
So we went to go see the Budweiser Clydesdales in Breck Thursday. These are some seriously cool, seriously large and seriously pampered equines, and you should go check them out when you get a chance. They’re parked at the Wellington Lot through Sunday, and they’re also in the Breck parade today.
Horses aside, we have to say we are not typically Bud drinkers, but we really enjoyed the new (or at least new to us) Bud Light Lime. Very refreshing! Plus, they had it in these very cool 16-ounce aluminum cans that are feather-light. You’re drinking your beer and the bottle weighs almost nothing, so you’re like, “Dude, am I done with this beer, or did I just start it?” It’s confusing. But the aluminum seems to keep the beer colder, and we figure it costs less to transport than glass, so we’re saving the planet by drinking beer. Excellent!
Question: When is it OK to behead a bald eagle?
Answer: When you’re doing it for religious reasons. According to a story in the Denver Post t’other day, a bald eagle found dead in a Boulder County park in May was from a “federal repository used by American Indians,” and that “the bird had been dismembered by an American Indian who had a federal permit to use eagle parts in a religious ceremony.”
What the hell? We won’t go into making all kinds of jokes about how our religion allows us to skewer chipmunks or throttle kittens, but don’tcha think the Native Americans should chill on the eagle beheading? If nothing else, it’s terrible PR for the casinos …
For our part, we’ll be honoring the eagles this weekend by stroking their feathers, feeding them select pigeon parts and singing them songs of praise. Happy b-day, ‘Merica! Have fun out there today and tonight, folks – but be careful! We out.
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