Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks all these “national awareness days” are having the exact opposite effect their creators intended.
Here’s what we mean: We have no problem with holidays; they’re on the calendar. Everybody knows the dates and we enjoy a periodic break from the rigmarole that is the daily column world to remind ourselves of the important things in life.
Then come all your special interest groups, and they feel the need to designate special days for this and that: The greeting card companies create “Valentine’s Day,” (and don’t try and tell us it has to do with some saint; get real) or “Sweetest Day.” There’s weeks for fitness, appreciation of every trade that ever formed a union and you’ve got whole months dedicated to child abuse or black history.
Some of these are great, don’t get us wrong. But examine, for instance, all that July has to offer. Did you know July is National Ice Cream Month (so decreed by ice cream makers, no doubt)? Or if you prefer, it’s Anti-Boredom Month. Need something more specific? How about Hitchhiking Month?
It gets better. Did you know that July 3 is Compliment Your Mirror Day? July 11, you might like to know, is National Cheer Up the Lonely Day. But don’t party too hard, because you want to save some energy for today, July 14, which happens to be National Nude Day. You’re supposed to stop telling those McKenzie brothers jokes Monday; it’s Respect Canada Day. And, make sure to schedule some time to show support, raise awareness or whatever, on July 27 and 29, Take Your Pants For A Walk Day and Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day, respectively.
And those are only selections from this list a good reader e-mailed us. Hopefully, you’re beginning to see our point: When every day’s a celebration, it sort of takes away from any special place that day might hold on our calendar.
Maybe it’s just us. Maybe our readers need a reason to get up each day, and this is what people have come up with. But don’t be surprised if we start to gripe again – it won’t be long and all the days will be taken, and all these groups will start claiming hours and minutes.
Here’s some interesting tidbits to be gleaned from the 2000 Census data.
Wanna know where the highest concentration of Colorado natives lives? Conejos County claims 80.2 percent natives. Care to hazard a guess where Summit Up Land fits in the statistics? You’re close – we come in second from the bottom, at 21.9 percent natives. The only worse place? We hate to say it: Aspen, and Pitkin County, at 21.8 percent Colorado natives.
Is there a name for the pain you get in your ear after holding a phone to your head for too long?
And what’s worse, a phone headache, or an ice cream headache?
(We obviously have too much time on our hands today.)
Maybe you all can tell us how to resolve this day of worship that also happens
to be National Nude Day.
Let us know at
firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or say a naked prayer on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237.
We’re out celebrating Summit Up Pedicure Your Pals Day, which is every
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