Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that doesn’t get to do any back-to-school shopping.It occurred to us, as we sat there mesmerized by the department store ads on TV with the teeny-boppers bouncing around showing off their shiny new backpacks (which, oddly, sported no bike tire tracks, binders or the ubiquitous Nalgene bottles), bright-white new tennis shoes and flashy shirts and pants, that we adults miss out on an American shopping rite.With sentimental fondness, we recall those days of scouring the mall, looking for just the outfit that would win us praise and admiration from our fellow classmates – or at least the clothes that would make us less likely to get beat up. Ah, good times.But once you’re out of school, you sort of lose all occasion to shop. Sure, the ladies don’t need such excuses. The men of the world, however, typically don’t go shopping until their threadbare digs fall off them and police officers threaten them with public indecency charges. We need serious motivation to spruce up the wardrobe.That’s why we’re advocating for some sort of back-to-school equivalent for adults. Weddings don’t count, since you either buy or rent something that you won’t wear again until the next wedding, the divorce proceedings or a funeral.There’s job interviews, but with the way the economy is going, we needn’t bother getting all duded up so the housekeeping managers can tell us we’re not nearly qualified enough to sponge their toilets.Mating season will soon be upon us here in Summit Up Land, as the freshmen hordes arrive with wide-eyed dreams of powder days and the ski bum lifestyle. Maybe that’s all the excuse we need. Sure, that’ll do.So, can somebody tell us what color of lederhosen goes best with fishnet stockings?***Unfortunately, we have a few Scum Alerts!! Scum Alerts!! going out to the scum of the Earth today.The first goes to the moron(s) who overturned two planter boxes, trash and recycle containers and a Summit Daily newspaper box on Frisco Main Street by the Butterhorn Bakery late Sunday or early Monday morning.What kind of rage is that, folks?We’re wondering what the pansies in the planter did – smile out at them with their little upturned faces? How ’bout the newspapers? The trash? Litter rage. It ain’t so good.We are hereby, wherewithal and therefore sending out bad karmic vibes to the overturner, hoping their lives are overturned in ways they never imagined for disrupting the life of the plants, the lives of the fine folks at Summit Recycling Project and the fine men and women – if we do say so ourselves – who deliver your favorite column to you every day.Rapscallions. All of you.***Wednesday, how do you do? We do well. How ’bout sending us a few odes to the changing colors of the leaves, either that or the new turtleneck your mom bought you for those school pictures. We’re listening, as always, at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just tell us how this is all going down on our permanent record on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out bargaining with the chlorophyll for another month of summer …
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