Good morning and welcome the Summit Up, the only column that saw history get hit by a pitch.While we sat in Row 9,847 with a hot dog and a beer, we peered through the binoculars just in time to catch Barry Bonds’ last at bat in Colorado of the season. He stepped to the plate just two home runs shy of reaching the 700 plateau, about a season away from Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron.Of course, the crowd wanted to see a dinger, but instead we saw Bonds get dinged on his right elbow. The boos from those remaining in the stands, including a Summit Up Land contingent, joined the chorus.If a man boos from the upper deck, and nobody hears, does the man still boo?Others shook their rubber chickens violently to show displeasure with Rockies manager Clint Hurdle’s reluctance this season to give Bonds anything to hit. As usual, this also makes us wonder. Could shaking a chicken, someday, replace our other, more common ways of expressing displeasure? No middle finger. No punch to the eye socket. Just a rubber chicken in full seizure-mode, flopping back and forth.Perhaps not. But the point still got across. At this point in the season, the fans would rather see Bonds homer than see the Rockies win. No wonder attendance, once the envy of the league, is down. But don’t get us started on those rich contracts to the likes of Hampton, Walker and a few stiffs who aren’t even playing.(More shaking of the rubber chicken.)***Where there’s baseball, there’s talk about steroids. Two fans walked the concourse holding up up a sign indicating they had steroids for sale while chanting, “Steroid, Steroids.” That made us think about the footlong Rockies bratwurst we held in our hand.Anyway, like the steroid boys, we, too, will be watching the outcome of the steroids grand jury action in the San Francisco bay area that hooked in a Bonds’ associate. It’s not a secret that steroids are the dirty secret of professional sports in the U.S. and elsewhere. Here at Summit Up, we tried steroids and started writing big words, like pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. After receiving complaints, we gave up steroids and switched back to caffeine, the writers’ drug of choice. Nowwejustwritereallyfast.***It’s Friday, and since we’ve given up on steroids, we need help coming up with big words to perplex all our loyal readers. If you have one, spell it out for us at firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just sing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
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