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Summit up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column laughing at how what sounds like pornography anywhere else in the world is just people wishing for snow here.As we scanned this very paper the other day (no … that can’t be; it couldn’t be this paper the other day, because if you’re reading this paper, the other day’s paper was completely different; you know what we mean) we came across a calendar item that piqued our interest.(You see, we scan the calendar a lot. Having no social life, and no creativity to make one for ourselves, we rely on you, people of Summit Up Land, to think of things for us to do.)Anyway, the calendar item, a regular little thing at Jonny G’s in Frisco, was entitled “Get in the mood.” Now, call us cynical, but when a bar says it’s going to show movies – to get people in the mood – we automatically wonder if the dating scene (or lack thereof) around these parts has reached critical mass and everybody’s reached the breaking point and said, ah, to heck with trying to meet somebody at the bar, let’s just go and watch “Debbie Does Dillon” or whatever.Anywhere else in the world, we might be right. But, no, here in Summit Up Land, everybody’s idea of “slipping into something more comfortable” is a heat-molded telemark boot, and “getting in the mood” involves watching some poor sap do endos off a cornice or ollie onto a picnic table with his snowboard.Other people might tell you your priorities are mixed up, good readers, but we like them right where they are. You stay sexy now, you hear?***And speaking of the boys in blue, the Colorado State Patrol troopers called in to wish Gail Marion a Happy Birthday! She turned an undisclosed age a few days ago (the records on that exact age are classified, they said).***Stephanie sent us an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!!, proclaiming that here in Summit Up Land, “Chivalry is not dead.”Stephanie had a little car trouble on Monday, and her Plymouth broke down. But a few gentlemen stopped to help her. She wanted to thank the man that stopped and made a call on his cell phone, the wonderful Silverthorne police officers and the state trooper that came to her rescue. ***We had a few leftovers from the Things People in Florida Have Learned Recently segment from the other day, just begging to be shared:A) You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances, Ivan or Jeanne.ç) Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it at any given time.*) You think of your hall closet/saferoom as “cozy.”) You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months.Ý) You now understand what that little “2 percent hurricane deductible” phrase really means.{) You were once proud of your 16-inch electric chain saw.h) You now own five large ice chests.&) Your parrot can now say “hammered,” “pounded” and “hunker down.”) You stop what you’re doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street.) You’re depressed when they don’t stop.ü) You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for plywood, roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer.¥) You now think the $6,000 whole-house generator seems reasonable.) You look forward to discussions about the merits of cubed, block and dry ice.- ) Your therapist refers to your condition as “generator envy.”^) You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator, doesn’t get electricity.***Nobody tell Wednesday we put a “kick me” sign on its back, OK? It’s our little secret.Share any other secret you’d like at summitup@summitdaily.com, fax at (970) 668-0775 or just remind us how rude it is to whisper among company on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out getting in the mood (which just happens to be a fluorescent one-piece we pulled out of the attic) …


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