Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s figured out how to get rich: Declare ourselves CEO, drive the column and the paper into bankruptcy and retire. We’ll be millionaires.At least that’s the way it seems to be working for our counterpart top-dogs at Kmart. We’re writing today of corporate excess in hopes that you, too, will be just as angry as us.Here’s the news skinny: After 10 months, Julian Day, the CEO of Kmart Holding Corp., is stepping aside. See, Kmart has been trying to emerge from bankruptcy (not very successfully, mind you) and Day hasn’t exactly worked the wonders the board was hoping he would (changing the “blue” light special to “green” – so that people go for the sales like NASCAR drivers – just didn’t pan out). So, whereas we and all of our good readers would get a pink slip, Day gets a fat stack of cash.Specifically, he gets about $90 million in stock options, most of his $1 million annual bonus, $2 million for signing his departure agreement. Plus, he gets about $1.5 million in 2007 and 2008 if the company meets its goals (who knows what those are).Of course, we probably aren’t the maddest people over this. Martha Stewart’s likely spinning in her cell.***Wednesday, we asked people to tell us what they were waiting for as we ended our column. Jenna from Georgia answered rapidly: “I am patiently waiting for next Friday … the day I leave Georgia to come to Colorado. I’m excited!!!!”Then we’re excited for you, Jenna. Good luck.***What’s worse than taking candy from a baby? How about taking a wheelchair from an elderly woman that just got evicted from her apartment?Yes, unfortunately, this is a true Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! Apparently, this particular woman had all her stuff piled on the lawn in Dillon Valley after getting the boot, and the thieves in question took everything, including her wheelchair, before she could find a way to get her stuff moved.Jamie, at Bristlecone Health Services, who reported this unsettling news to us, put it best: “Now, anyone who believes in karma will tell you that stealing from a sick, elderly person as well as stealing from a nonprofit agency is the lowest you can go in just about anyone’s book. So, if you have a conscience at all, and would like to redeem yourself (or if you know the people who stole and would like extra good karma points by returning the stolen goods), please drop this woman’s items off at Bristlecone Health Services at 60 Main St., Unit H in Frisco and we will return the items to her. By the way, don’t forget to return the wheelchair too.”***It’s Friday, and the password is “Basin burgers.” Tell us how good yours was at firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just leave a message on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237, saying you were too busy making turns to stop and eat.We’re out pestering the chairman of the board until he gives us money to go away …
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