Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column singing happy birthday to us. We just thought we’d take a moment for some self-promotion and let all of you know that the Summit Daily, and it’s daily column, are now officially 15 years old (which is why we seem so juvenile, adolescent and immature at times – blame it on all the hormones and acne).So, taking into account that we weren’t truly a daily column for the first four years or so (you were reading us only five days a week), that means … carry the two … uhhh … round down … divide by the number of libel and slander suits we’ve survived … we’ve written more than 5,000 columns. And, like, a dozen of them were pretty funny, too.While we’re on the subject of celebrations, we should also remind you that you forgot to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day. We did, too, until the sheriff called us.Now, this is usually a scary thing, because he calls to say don’t move, there’s a deputy coming to cuff you and, don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out by the time they get you fingerprinted (again) at the jail. This time, it was a bit of a relief.Some of you may know that the Summit Up Land sheriff is not originally from this country. He’s English, but not the wimpy, tea-sipping, biscuit-munching kind. Think Liam and Noel Gallagher from Oasis: kickin’ butt and rockin’ out.Anyway, he wanted to remind us that it was Nov. 5, 1604, when a whole bunch of Catholics, ticked off at King James I, put 36 barrels of gunpowder underneath the House of Lords – Guy Fawkes being the soldier caught entering the cellar to light the fuse. So, to this day, every Nov. 5, the Brits light bonfires and burn his effigy.Being the multicultural, diversity-tolerant place Summit Up Land is, the sheriff asked the county commissioners to declare Friday a county holiday.”They’re still laughing,” he told us afterward.That’s a shame, because if you ask us, what this place needs is a little more effigy-burning.***Ann Lukacs, who was an election judge at Precinct 4 in Breck, e-mailed us today’s Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! A kind citizen took pity on the election judges there, ran off to Starbucks and got them coffee and then wouldn’t accept any reimbursement for it.”It was greatly appreciated!” Ann writes.But it probably didn’t get him a second vote for his favorite candidates. We’ll throw some karma points his way, though.***Here’s to another fine Saturday, ladies and gentlemen. Today’s password is “pistachios in the cous-cous.” Use it to unlock your destiny at email@example.com, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just argue that fate prefers risotto on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out thinking up something for No. 5,001 …
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