Summit Up 8-21-10: Down with the tube tops and muscle shirts |

Summit Up 8-21-10: Down with the tube tops and muscle shirts

Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that wants to take a look back in time to a column from right around this time in the year 2000. We were intrigued by some of the stuff about Summit High dress codes, and wonder if some of this stuff verboten back then is now OK – or vice-versa. If anyone knows, shoot us a flibbertigibbet (today’s word for “e-mail”) at

(Cue eerie back-in-time music)

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that dares to go out in the world wearing “immodest” clothing. This is in flagrant disregard to the Summit School District Conduct and Discipline Policies for Parent and Students (Includind Inclement Weather Procedures) we have in front of us this morning.

Before we go on, though, we just have one question: Is weather ever clement?

RADIO GUY: And with temperatures in the 70s and sunny skies forecast for most of the day, it appears we’re going to have pretty clement weather this Saturday.

Anyway, we were just looking over the dress code stuff in the school policy manual to make sure we’re OK if, say, a time warp tosses us back into dear ol’ Summit High, and we must say it’s pretty strict. We wouldn’t, for example, be allowed to wear “muscle shirts,” which we take to mean tank tops. “Immodest tops, skirst, pants or shorts” are also verboten, although, as sassy kids, we’d be willing to argue to the death over the definition of “immodest.” What’s immodest to a mom who’s a recent emigre from the Czech Republic may be church wear for a mom from L.A., but we suppose the school board will claim to “know it when they see it,” eh?

Most disturbing to us is the banning of exposed underwear or underwear worn as outerwear. We, for example, have these really cool Batman briefs we routinely wear on the outside of our pants. Why would you want to hide anything as cool as Batman under your pants?

It also says here we can’t wear caps, hats, sunglasses or hoods inside the school, which makes us wonder if, say, a yarmulke would be off-limits (and, of course, a John Deere cap can have similarly potent religious meaning for certain types of folk). It doesn’t say anything about people who need to wear sunglasses inside (such as the blind and tragically hip), nor whether practicing monks must doff their hoods.

All we can say is things have gotten a lot tougher since we were in high school! The only dress code thing we ever heard of was once, when we were having “beach day,” the principal told us not to wear tube tops (which were popular in the Pleistocene Era). Some of us guys thought we were pretty smart and showed up with tube tops anyway. Today, we imagine that’d garner a short jail sentence.


Someone sent us a list of entries in the Washington Post’s Style Invitational, which asks readers to take any word from the dictionary and alter it by adding or subtracting one letter, as well as supply a new definition. Here are a few of this year’s winners:

1. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

2. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

5. Inoculatte: To take coffe intravenously when you are running late.

6. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

We’ll drag out some more of these in the not-too-distant future.


For no apparent reason, we leave you today with Shakespeare’s Sonnet No. 109:

O, never say that I was false of heart,

Through absence seemed my flame to qualify

As easy might I from myself depart

As from my soul, which in thy breast doth lie.

That is my home of love; if I have ranged,

Like him that travels I return again,

Just to the time, not with the time exchanged,

So that myself bring water for my stain.

Never believe, though in my nature reigned

All frailties that besiege all kinds of blood,

That it could so preposterously be stained

To leave for nothing all thy sum of good;

For nothing this wide universe I call

Save thou, my rose; in it thou art my all

(Cue eerie back-in-time music)

We’re not sure what this means, but we think he’s complaining about the dress code at Summit High. If anyone has a clue, shoot us a flibbertigibbet at

Have a happy Saturday, folks! It looks like it’s going to be a nice one, and we’re stoked to go see the amazing Reverend Horton Heat out at Copper! Go check it out, if you can.

We out.

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