Summit Up 8-3-12: Look at them wild asses! |

Summit Up 8-3-12: Look at them wild asses!

Summit Up
Denver ZooSomali wild asses!

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that got all excited when we saw this email from the Denver Zoo about Somali wild asses. This, we figured, was something we can work with! Listen:

“Denver Zoo visitors can enjoy seeing a brand new species to the zoo, Somali wild asses. Two males named Kalifa and Kamowa, just arrived from the San Diego Wild Animal Park.”

But then, just as we were about to launch into some puns and double entendres about wild asses or whatever, a little angel who looked very much like our prim and proper grandma (may she rest in peace) appeared on our shoulder and chastised us soundly for even contemplating such a foray into ass-like behavior and writing. “Such a cheap shot, picking on those poor asses!” she began, then quickly covered her mouth as she realized she’d inadvertently made a bit of an ass pun herself. She tried again: “You leave those wild asses alone – they’ve got enough trouble as it is.”

Then she giggled as she realized there’s literally no way to talk or write about Somali wild asses without snickering just a little bit. And just look at these things: Those are pretty nice asses! They have lovely stripes on their legs and a beautiful buff-gray coat. These, we think, are the kinds of asses you’d want to take home to mother, who would be obliged to say “Wow! Nice asses!”

Get thee to the zoo and check out these asses! You’ll be glad you did.

We out.

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