Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column trying to console confused Marines.Now, the only thing we know about war we learned from pressing the plastic button on GI Joe’s stomach, so we couldn’t help him with issues in Iraq. But that was OK, because on a balmy Wednesday night on the Santa Monica pier in California (that’s right; it hasn’t snowed here enough for us lately, so we said, “Screw it,” and we jumped on our Corporate Suites jet for a quickie in Cali), what this 30-year-old Marine really wanted to know is how to open the door for a lady when the door pushes rather than pulls.Being of the grungy ski bum type, we had never considered the question, but upon further review, we empathized with his dilemma. There he was, the few, the proud, the polite. But when it came to dealing with doors that push, he was the confused.See, when a man – assuming he’s not a low life – attempts to open a door that pulls out, it’s pretty straightforward. Take the lead, reach with your arm, pull, move out of the way and usher the lovely lady in (or out, as the case may be). But things get a little tricky when he has to push the door open. Does he cut the woman off by getting in front of her, holding the door with his body, then making her nearly crawl across him to get through? Or does he do a quick GI Joe move – stand behind her and rapidly extend his arm, pushing the door and risking a slam in her face before she gets through?Not to mention the poor woman’s confusion. First of all, she has to wrestle with the idea of men – in this day and age – opening doors for her. I mean, she understands the idea of stoners bumping chairs for her (well, really she knows they do it for the ski pass), but doors?What does it mean in this new age of liberation? Does it imply she’s weak? Or can she just accept the fact that gentlemen – under the age of 40 – may still exist? She must not only assess these ever-so-important sociological questions, but also remain alert as to whether she’ll have to make a run for the door if he pushes it open or whether she’ll have to squeeze her body through the threshold without rubbing up against him and giving him the wrong impression, because we all know that would not be ladylike.Our brains paused on the image of bodies rubbing, so we weren’t able to give the Marine a definitive answer. But we’re hoping his question spawns a new breed of Ski Bum Gentlemen who know how to politely push. And if you figure it out, give us a shout and we’ll pass it on to our honorable military personnel.In the meantime, we’ll be playing with our GI Joes and Barbies, trying to figure it all out.***It’s Thanksgiving, a day for most of the country to stop, gather and eat huge feasts on behalf of the natives and early settlers. But for many in the High Country, it’s another day of work – one of the busiest.So we here at Summit Up salute all the county’s employees working on this holiday. Even us lowly staffers here at the Daily have to plug in overtime hours during the most festive seasons, and while we do it, we will rest easy knowing we are not alone.Cheers, and may your next day off be a powdery one.***It’s Thanksgiving, which means we’re out dodging traffic on Main Street for fun. Leave us a message for all you’re thankful for at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org to tell us we’ve got a little bit of gravy left on our chin.
Support Local Journalism
Support Local Journalism
As a Summit Daily News reader, you make our work possible.
Your donation will be used exclusively to support quality, local journalism.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User