Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering why the state Department of Transportation doesn’t provide more rest areas along our state’s highways.Granted, they’re federal highways, but hey! We’re getting older! We get tired easily! And of utmost importance, we as a nation have been doped to the gills on tryptophan, that lovely ingredient in turkeys that makes us sleepy.Zzzzzzz. We have been catching zzzzzzs like people catch fish around here. And we certainly were not happy to find ourselves trying to catch them on the interstate late-late-late one night this week.While they’re at it, they really need to take down that “informational sign” near Genesee that notes that a certain antique store is a place where people can view historic things. Reserve the signs for museums and Home Depot, for Pete’s sake!Harumph.***Anyway, we have a Happy 50th Birthday! Happy 50th Birthday! going out to Deb Currin (pictured somewhere on this page) from her husband Tim and Kylee, Rio, Jopsie, Miss Ellie, Charlie Horse and Deb – just some of her many friends that come from living 25 years in Breckenridge.Wow! Twenty-five years! That darn near qualifies Deb as a local! And 50 years! That darn near qualifies you as a member of the Red Hat Society!Have a happy one, Deb!Blow out a few candles for us, too!***Speaking of hot air, a few of our Summit Up Staffers, notably No. 069, was stuck spending the holidays amidst an entire flock of attorneys. They discussed such mentally stimulating things as tort law, medical malpractice suits and lawsuits without merit.It brings to mind these “real” cases that have taken the time and taxpayer money from our courts in the past, as opposed to the future, which hasn’t occurred yet.U) A man won $74,000 after his neighbor ran over his hand! Yikes! The neighbor – who obviously didn’t have a very bright attorney – said he didn’t realize the man was stealing his hubcaps at the time.) An inmate in Virginia is suing himself, claiming he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested. He’s asking for $5 million and, since he doesn’t have an income, wants the state to pony up.Ý) A man won $14,500 after his neighbor’s dog bit him. The dog was in its own fenced-in yard and on a chain. The man who won the lawsuit was shooting the dog with a pellet gun at the time.®) A Michigan man sued the state for $1 million after he caught a cold while visiting an art exhibit in the state capitol’s rotunda.) A man in Tulsa, Ariz., intentionally cut off his hand, then told surgeons not to reattach it. Then he sued because they didn’t. His argument? They should have known he was psychotic.Well, duh.***It reminds us of a trash can warning label we actually found once in 1988. First, we couldn’t figure out why a trash can would ever warrant a warning label. The label read: Use caution when using the lid or risk falling in. Really.Others:^) Do not eat. Found on a piece of paper in a stereo box. It was referring to the Styrofoam packaging.I) Other side for use. On the bottom of a measuring cup.#) Warning! May cause drowsiness. Found on the label of a sleep medication.%) Do not use orally after using rectally. On the box for an electronic thermometer.OK. We’ve had enough.We out, catching tryptophanic zzzzs …
Support Local Journalism
Support Local Journalism
As a Summit Daily News reader, you make our work possible.
Your donation will be used exclusively to support quality, local journalism.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User