Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column being deluged with phone calls from people who want to buy the haunted cane.If you failed to read yesterday’s Summit Up column – tsk, tsk! – you missed out on the strange news about this boy who is being terrorized by the ghost of his grandfather. The ghost isn’t doing your typical ghostly activities like appearing ghostlike in mirrors or knocking books off shelves.No, this ghost has taken residence in the grandfather’s cane.The mother of this child has decided to sell the ghost – and its home – on eBay.”Since my father died, my 5-year-old son has been too scared to go anywhere in the house alone,” the woman writes in her eBay summary. “I thought it was just normal kid fears until he told me why he was so scared. He told me, ‘Grandpa died here, and he was mean. His ghost is still here!'””So up for auction is my dad’s ghost along with his cane he used for getting around. “I hope that it’s OK for me to tell my son that the ghost is now living with you. To whoever wins this auction I would like to ask you to write a letter after you’ve received the cane (and the ghost) to my son letting him know that he’s there with you and you’re getting along great. I will provide details at the end of the auction to the winner.”Q) No. The cat is afraid of it though. It’s a shy cat so I don’t really know if it’s the ghost.Well, of course, this has started a rampage of haunted furniture for sale on ebay.
“Please help my 6-year old son find peace. In an effort to quell his fears, I am selling the ghost of my father (his grandfather). The buyer will receive his cane, which is believed to carry his ghost. I would like to ask you to write a letter after you’ve received the cane (and the ghost) to my son letting him know that he’s there with you and you’re getting along great. It is my hope that this will put an end to his restless nights. Thank you all for your help and heartfelt interest.”I don’t know the value of a ghost, so I’m starting bidding at $1.”That one comes with a ghostly Certificate of Authenticity document, pictured somewhere on this page.***We have, unfortunately, a Scum Alert! Scum Alert! sent into us by Tara from Breckenridge, who is not happy about her holiday misfortune.She writes: “Dear Busch Lite fans who stole items from my car (and tried to break into my neighbor’s condo) on Ridge Street in Breck late Friday night: “You have not only spoiled any holiday mood that I was slowly mustering up this year, you have greatly diminished my faith in people. I’ve lived here for 10 years, and I too, find it hard to make ends meet, especially lately. But no matter what life throws me, I’d never think of stealing something earned through someone else’s hard work!!”I’m a very generous person by nature. If you needed something, I’d do my best to help you out. I live in a condo, I work two jobs, I volunteer with kids and I don’t have any extra money to replace the items you stole. “You are either a horrible person, a dumb drunk or a poor soul whose mother didn’t love them enough, so you’re taking it out on others around you!”Please heed the holiday sprit (of which mine, you stole) and return the items (specifically, camera, gray remote-lock, jacket and rec center pass – keep the money – to Trollhagen Condos on Ridge Street. Just leave them on the boardwalk. Or if you have the cajones, call me at 453-9869 and I’ll even give you a reward.
“Thanks, and Merry Christmas from the person who discarded your Busch Lite beer cans for you.”Whoa. That’s scummy. The karmic consequences are waiting to be unleashed!***To balance that out, we have the annual Christmas greeting from Max Kaupas, age 10, to share.White glistening powderDecorates the trees with snowThe deer prance with joyAnd in each prance, winter is here
Snow tracks cover the groundWhile snowflakes come quietly downThe holy day Christ’s birthday is hereThe day is full of colors and presentsSleigh bells sing aloud with carolsSaint Nicholas comes with joy to share with allChristmas is here!Kudos, Max, for your eloquent poem. We hope all are enjoying the holiday season.***We out, poking around in our attic looking for haunted items to make some extra bling! Tell us what’s haunting you at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237, or just e-mail us uses for a haunted cane at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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