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Summit up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that wants to have lunch with you.Well, not all of you. We’re much more picky than that. Actually, we’re pretty sure we can only handle lunch with just one of you (we’re darn sure we can’t afford much more than that).Why would you want to have lunch with us? Aside from the entertainment of watching a grown schizophrenic trying to convince deli help that it’s illegal to serve pickles without drip-drying them first and eating rice pudding with chopsticks (it is rice, after all), we have no idea why. Some people just can’t resist the idea of getting something for free; just look at how successful those record clubs were.What do you have to do to win this auspicious honor? Well, folks, it’s Contest! time. Our regular readers know that every winter we like to throw a big contest or two. This is a pathetic attempt at that. We’re calling it the World’s First Ever Art-By-Fax Contest! Here’s what you do: Get artistic (this usually involves putting some Yanni on the stereo, donning slippers and a beret, and thinking what the unartistic drones out there call “outside the box” – unless you’re getting all Picasso on us, in which case you’ll be thinking “inside the cubism”). Grab a piece of paper, or anything flat really. Do weird things to it: draw on it, make a collage of magazine letters (just like the scary ones that make us get restraining orders against certain overly possessive field agents), make a map to hidden treasure, draw little dotted lines for us to cut out shapes and make a mobile, or don’t use paper at all – fax us a picture of your athlete’s foot as rendered by the office scanner. Whatever.Fax it to (970) 668-0755. You have until Monday, Jan. 3. We’ll spend the rest of that week deciding who the winner is – or should we say deciding who gets to have lunch with us (and we’ll be choosing the place, mind you, so don’t expect to go anyplace too fancy).We await your creative masterpieces. Tell your friends and neighbors. Get your preschoolers ready to fingerpaint. Warm up the fax machine. If you don’t have one, break into Kinko’s.And we’re off …***Good day, and thank you for visiting with us this fine Thursday. Be sure to join us tomorrow when we get academic on your collective behinds discussing excerpts from our most recent, holiday-themed scientific journal article, “Hay, Hay, Man: Why Nativity Scenes Wouldn’t Exist if Jesus Had Had Allergies.” And cast your votes in the straw poll at summitup@, or on that voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out explaining to our shocked and outraged neighbor that “hoar” referred to the frost this morning …

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