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Summit Up

SUMMIT UP
Special to the DailySince we never get to show our readers pictures of Summit's swimmers without the goggles and caps on, here's a look at (back row) Rachel Bergstrom, Amy Secor, co-captain Jessica Lewark, co-captain Courtney Stoffel, Lisa Walton, Caroline Stasil, Lindsey Ryan, (front row) coach Jenny Wishmeyer, head coach Laura Graf and Meg Schuman.
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Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering about gay penguin rights.

Seems a zoo in Germany has a couple of homosexual penguins and all the attempts to try to “convert” them to heterosexuality have failed – and in the meantime riled up a bunch of gay rights protesters who are now fighting on behalf of gay animals.Zoo officials flew in four female penguins to entice the males to mate, but they weren’t having any- thing to do with it. That’s when the protesting began.

All this news piqued our curiosity. So we Googled “gay penguin” – and darned if it didn’t come up with a slew of sites, most of them promoting Gay Penguin in 2004.”Gay Penguin is a homosexual penguin,” the site reads. “He is incapable of speaking, of signing laws and bills, and perhaps even incapable of abstract thought.” Then it goes on to promote Gay Penguin over George W., but we saw how that election fell out.

In other news, gay penguins are coming out. Recently, two penguins at the Central Park Zoo in Manhattan celebrated six years of monogamy, and zoo keepers have given them an egg to raise, which hatched successfully.While Christian Fundamentalists rally around Constitutional Amendments against gay marriage, gay penguins are proving that God has no problems with gay marriage or gay adoption.

***We out getting stupid.


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