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Summit Up


Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column looking forward to pretending we’re octagenarians.It’s a fun little game we play every winter, although you wouldn’t know it by looking at us (by which we mean you won’t find us wearing white patent leather shoes, or sandals with black socks, those shirts with little penguins on them, or our pants pulled up to our sternum – except to sneak past the security guards).The past few winters we’ve taken refuge in a seniors-only park down in Arizona. It serves several purposes: First, and most importantly, we don’t work. And don’t go thinking that nobody there does. They always find something to do – there’re RVs to wash (which takes two or three days, you know), golf clubs to polish and those happy hour cocktails don’t mix themselves.Secondly, there is the healing power of the sun and the desert. More accurately, we guess we should admit that, specifically, that healing comes from standing in a veritable oasis, looking out over a 6-foot concrete wall and realizing how glad we are we aren’t stranded out in that desert.More than anything else, however, we enjoy the taste of the good life: The slow pace of purposeful retirement. Of course, we have to be careful not to think about the fact that, the way Social Security is going, we’ll never truly get to retire.So forgive us if we seem a little distracted over the next couple days (we leave this weekend). If we seem to be staring vacantly, it’s probably because we’re imagining volleyball in the pool and trying to think up new ways to get golf balls down out of palm trees.***Wednesday’s column on ingenious inventions (and how we need to come up with one that makes us millions) garnered a couple responses.An anonymous caller (cackling all the while like a mad scientist) suggested we should figure out a way to make newspapers out of plastic so that we can save trees. This is all well and good, but then we wouldn’t have anything to wrap our Christmas presents in.Valerie in Atlanta chimed in, sharing her story of getting beat to the punch on her invention: Since she can’t seem to stop eating once a bag of microwave popcorn is opened, she thought it would be pretty smart if they sold half-bags. A couple years later, she can now find them on the shelf at the grocery store.”So, I’m back to financial planning at its finest,” she writes, “buying lottery tickets.”***Speaking of our vacation, we were wondering if any of our field agents would want to submit columns to cover our absence – the real deal, not just small riffs. All you need is a wandering mind, a healthy dose of Summit soul and some happy fingers. Give it a try. File to aren’t promising anything. Use good grammar, correct spellings and upper and lower case characters. In other words, don’t make those left holding the bag at Corporate Headquarters work too hard.***It’s Thursday, and the early bird special is prunes. Let us know what you’re looking forward to at summitup, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just you’re riding switch, so you’re looking backwards, on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out filling the living room with bubbles and blasting Lawrence Welk on the Victrola …

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