Summit Up 9-17-12: The special Sara Almond belated birthday edition
September 16, 2012
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that has a stinging wrist and a good conscience dressed like an angel on our left shoulder who is hopping mad. We can’t sleep, we can’t eat, basically we are the picture of pathetic guilt-ridden remorse.
Why are we behaving like Catholics who’ve dropped the F-bomb (we are Catholic, so that joke’s OK), you may ask.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: No, actually we really don’t care.
SUMMIT UP: It’s because we went and forgot the birthday of the lovely lady to our right here. Sara Almond went and turned … well, actually we don’t know how old she turned, but we do know she had a birthday on Friday with no notice of the special occasion here in the Summit Up real estate. And for that, Sara, we are profoundly sorry. To make amends, we hereby dedicate this entire column to you!
SARA ALMOND: Oh, you really shouldn’t have. Really.
SU: Too late, we officially proclaim this to be the Sara Almond edition. And we hope your birthday was long on fun and short on lame presents like socks. Many happy returns!
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OK, now that our hour of penance is out of the way, we want to talk about the most important thing on the face of the earth.
MSUR: The upcoming presidential election, during which the next leader of the free world will be anointed by the American people?
MSUR: The proliferation of arms that puts everyone at risk of death by nuclear mishap?
SU: Definitely not.
MSUR: Then what?
SU: Football, of course. We just want to give a special shout-out to our own beloved Denver Broncos and our new favorite human being, Peyton Manning. Manning, we’ve heard your quarterbacking compares to Michelangelo’s painting. It would be great if you could make tonight your David, because we think the Falcons need a good spanking and we know the Broncos need a big, beautiful No. 2 in the ‘W’ column. We can smell the post- season already, and it smells like victory and Peyton Manning’s sweat! Go get ’em tonight, Broncos!
Folks, it may be Monday, and it may be snowing (we’re not sure, because we wrote this on Sunday), but at least we have Monday night football!