Summit Up 9-25-09 |

Summit Up 9-25-09

Oscar Meyer

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column focusing on the mystic arts of the Kabbalah. You know, we usually don’t go all existential, but this changing of the seasons has us thinking deep thoughts, and we are determined to understand the relationship between an infinite, eternal and essentially unknowable creator with the finite and mortal universe.

To do that, we need to define the nature of the universe and the human being, the nature and purpose of existence, and various other ontological questions. Which we’ll begin to do once we look up ontology and figure out what THAT means. We’ve just started dabbling in this, but we think the various symbols meant to explain angelic hierarchies in the Kabbalah are really groovy. We’re thinking about getting one tattooed on our ankles.

Or not. Maybe we’ll just go out and buy us a case of PBR, a pack of hot dogs and go camp out along the upper Colorado and figure it out that way.

So we’re looking for some creative folks out there to submit their best “getting lost” stories for a special new something or other cooked up by some of the higher-ups here at the Corporate Suites. We’re a little fuzzy on the details, but send your best “getting lost” riff to and we’re sure you will be richly rewarded – perhaps with a gift certificate to the Dillon Dam Brewery.


Sadly, we received this Scum Alert!! reading thusly: “Tuesday night, at the Community Dinner in Silverthorne, two volunteers had items stolen. A jacket with sentimental value was taken from the coat rack. It is a 45th Commemorative jacket from the Reno National Air Races. It’s red with a hood and a fleece lining. It also has a large “NCAR” on the back. It’s is one of a kind for this area. The owner, Pete Coldagelli, can be reached at 389-4285. The same evening one of our teen volunteers had her iPhone stolen from her jacket pocket. The saying, ‘Biting the hand that feeds him’ comes to mind.”

Yep, that’s pretty low, going to a free community dinner and then thieving stuff. This is the kind of stuff that will cause your Karmic stock to plummet faster than the Dow Jones last October, so we’re hoping someone will see the light, do the right thing and return these items to their rightful owners.

We out, reading the Book of Zohar.

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