Summit Up 9-26-10
September 25, 2010
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column dipped in batter, plunked in a fryer and served extra crispy.
Brisk fall weather has an uncanny effect on our palates and stomachs, creating cravings for high-fat foods.
Like with our neighbor the bear, perhaps there’s something in nature pushing for a fattening up of one’s loins to survive winter’s cruelties.
The tradition of state fairs this time of year certainly adds another element to the unhealthy side. Every year it seems like the TV news people do a piece on what kind of Texas State Fair fare will be plowing its way through irresponsible Americans’ digestive tracts.
Alas, weekends of late have found us spending less time on the wings of Buffalo Mountain and more time tearing into deep-fried buffalo wings. Ha, ha.
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Now here’s a letter regarding our oh-so-clever trick photography in Thursday’s issue. Apparently we really pulled the wool on some folks:
“Dear Summit Up, You had me going this morning when I saw that pic of Jared and Dennis Clauer, merrily and without regard for personal safety taking a putt in the middle of Highway 9.
Outraged by the stupidity of Frisco’s powers that be for putting in a putting green between the lanes of busy Highway 9,
I was about to write them a strongly worded email that basically said, “What were you thinking?!!!” plus a few epithets comparing them to the idiots from the Denver Water Board.
Since we ventured down from snow-clad Breck into Frisco this morning, my husband and I decided to search for this ridiculous departure from common sense – but failed.
I grabbed another copy of the world’s favorite newspaper from outside Carlos Miguel’s and really studied the picture, trying to figure out exactly where the putting green was located.
I soon realized that you, dear Summit Up, were taking the p*** out of your faithful followers when I noticed poor Dennis was but half a shadow of his former self. Very clever, but you should have saved this one for April. 🙂
Well Catherine, we here at the Corporate Suites want to keep our readers on their toes, and running that classic photo April 1 probably wouldn’t have procured as energized a response from our fans.
What’s got us in a quagmire is the riddle in your next-to-last sentence. Just what sort of inappropriate noun is hidden in the “p***,” and what are you trying to say?
Surely your clever and otherwise succinct response wasn’t intended to say we were “faking the piss” out of our followers,
for we’d never do anything to encourage involuntary expulsion of anything – especially fluids.
Other possibilities: “putt,” “putz,” “polk,” “pills” or “pika.”
Hmmm, nah. A simple – albeit well-doctored – photo couldn’t take any of those items from readers in any sort of logical fashion.
Yet in the parlance of our times, the “faking the piss” expression would undoubtedly lend itself to a more likely alternative.
We’re left to assume there was a tiny typo on your part. The “f” and “t” keys are neighbors on the QWERTY keyboard, so yeah, you’ve accused us of some fakery.
Guilty as charged. But we’re still scratching our heads. Touche!
Ever wonder why Apple chose white keys for the vast majority of its keyboards?
Here we are, munching on chips, swilling coffee and scratching our noodle.
By chance we look to see where those fingers dance feverishly each day – creating symphonies of words – and behold: It’s one disgusting mess of dark discoloration and build-up.
Is this Steve Jobs’ roundabout way of telling us to keep healthy?
Cleaning a keyboard is tedious and boring. You don’t just grab a rag and some spray.
Often it involves Q-tips and alcohol. Most importantly, you have to shut off the system or unplug the keyboard. Hitting all sorts of random keys can lead to serious problems.
The black MacBook Pro keyboards are much better for hiding accumulation of whatever substance that is. Maybe that’s why they cost more.
It’s Sunday; fry some pickles.