Summit Up 9-7-11: Where roundabouts are our raison d’etre
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s been thinking lately about roundabouts. We love them. So much, in fact, that we go over to Dillon in the later hours of the day and just tool around the new roundabout there for the fun of it. Around and around and around. And no one ever mistakes us for terrorists bent on blowing up the dam because A) we’re giggling insanely and B) it seems quite clear we’re not interested in advancing onto the dam itself.
Of course, if we really want to get our roundabout fix, we go over to Eagle County, where roundabouts are as common as furry apres ski boots. Especially in Avon. There, you can whiz around one roundabout after another. Around and around and around. If we happen to be going to Beaver Creek, we’re usually so dizzy by the time we get to the guy at the guard shack that he won’t let us through because he thinks we’re drunk or something.
“No man, it’s the roundabouts!” we complain. “Surely everyone who comes up here to The Beav has a similar condition.”
“Don’t call me ‘surely,'” he says, just pointing to the exit.
We hear they’re either adding or will add even more roundabouts over there soon, so we’ve got that to look forward to. Of course, the ultimate roundabout experience is over in the UK, where there are roundabouts a-plenty (or “rotaries,” as they call them there), only with the added thrill of having to negotiate them driving on the “wrong” side of the road with the whole wheel-on-the-right dealio going on at the same time.
It’s hard to imagine.
Speaking of guard shacks, a young person in our midst recently wondered whether the Denver Water guards, when they get their fancy new guard shacks next month, will have television in there.
We figured probably not. It’s kinda like being a lift op: you’re not allowed to read or watch television or knit or play a musical instrument or anything like that when you’re in the top shack, because how are you supposed to notice some jackass riding the bullwheel if you’re crocheting a sweater or practicing the hammered dulcimer? Same deal with the dam guards: If they’re too engrossed in the latest episode of “Mad Men” or whatever, how will they notice the truckload of ululating terrorists driving by waving machine guns?
Of course, one could argue the guards would be better off not noticing such a thing since their ability to do anything about it might be rather limited. But who knows? Maybe the guard Denver Water hires are a lethal combination of SEAL Team 6, Chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood (before he got ancient)? In that case, those terrorists might just whip back around that roundabout and head for some place without such a hard target. Like … never mind, we won’t say it cuz we don’t want to give them any ideas. Although speaking of the bad-asses of SEAL Team 6, we think we don’t have as many crazed terrorists to worry about since they’ve been whacking them overseas. And as we come up on the anniversary of 9/11, that’s a good thing to remember.
Speaking of: If you have a memory of 9/11 you’d like to share, we’ll be running some of them this weekend. We’ve got some great ones from the community so far, but there’s always room for more. Email your submission to firstname.lastname@example.org.
On that note, folks we’ve gotta run. Have a wicked Wednesday!
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