Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column breathing a blustery sigh of relief on behalf of the collective desiccated conscience of Summit Up Land.
“Seco,” our hispano-hablante friends call it, dry. But this week’s rain sure has turned that around, and you may have noticed our story yesterday about the fire danger dropping to “moderate” (down from “stable as napalm” and “incendiary-iffic!”). Although we like gray on dolphins more than skies, you’ve got to admit the precipitation is good consolation.
And while we’re on the subject of weather (which we probably write about way too much, but what do you do, given where we live?), have you ever thought about what people would talk about if the weather was always the same here? Without this meteorological roller-coaster ride of droughts, fires, monsoons, blizzards, mudslides, etc., we might actually have to talk to each other about each other.
Scary, we know.
We’d file this Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! under “absconding” but that doesn’t sound nasty enough. We’ll put it in the “filch” file.
Jules from the Breckenridge BBQ called to say that someone stole the big flower boxes off the restaurant deck. She suspects the same person also took two town flower boxes from Adams Street. Jules spends a lot of time on those flowers and was not happy to learn this.
“So if anybody notices a neighbor that has a sudden beautification, they should notify the police department,” she said. “Or come in, and we’ll give you a free lunch.”
Jules wasn’t completely heartbroken over it, though. She knew her flowers were beautiful, she said, but not so beautiful that someone would have to steal them. That’s what makes the people of Summit Up Land so great: Even when someone steals from them, they can find a compliment in it.
The “mountainlovers” (the e-mail address of whoever sent us this) must have been touched by the goat story on Wednesday’s front page. We hope they were touched, because the alternative is that they’re HUGE fans of TV’s “Friends,” and we don’t need to get going on that this late in the day:
“Does anyone else remember the episode of “Friends’ when Phoebe was composing her goat song? It went like this: “Parading goats, parading goats, parading down the street; Parading goats, parading goats, leaving little treats.’ This seems like an excellent theme song for the weed-eating goat herd.”
Actually, we were thinking Weird Al Yankovic’s “Eat it,” but we’re open to debate.
There’s no debating it’s Thursday. Unless you’re on the other side of the International Date Line, we guess. So, OK, debate away. Send your first two-minute argument to firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just leave your favorite Daniel Webster quote on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237.
We’re out seeing if the goats will follow a pied piper …
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