Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column afraid it’s going to have to admit it: We’re jealous of Vail.MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Noooooo!! Don’t do it! Actually, it’s OK. We’ve spent the past two days over there, what with the two feet of fresh snow they got this week. There was some hip-deep stuff in Blue Sky Basin. It was sick.Now, we’re even more jealous. You really didn’t have to mention that. We were actually jealous of something completely different.MSUR: Uh, like what? We’re beginning to think maybe you should be ashamed to admit this.No, we’re jealous because Vail had a bank robbery on Monday.MSUR: The thieves probably got away because the cops were all out enjoying the powder.Could be, we don’t know. But you have to admit that’s pretty exciting. They had ski masks and semi-automatic weapons.MSUR: Why’s that so cool?Well, usually in Summit Up Land, it’s the cops bursting through the door like that. MSUR: Ooooooooh, snap! Did you hear what they just said? Oooooooooh.No, we’re just kidding. It’s just that, we never seem to have any excitement like that around here. A real thriller, like on “CSI,” you know?MSUR: Which “CSI”? There’s, like, nine of them.We’re not sure. We don’t watch any of them, but people tell us they’re very intriguing. Captivating, if you will. (Which doesn’t make any sense to us, because you know every single last one of those “CSI” fans absolutely hated science labs, science teachers and the geeks that looked up to them when they were in high school. Now they spend their evenings with them. Go figure.)And not that we want to see people getting their money stolen over here, or people brandishing semi-automatic weapons at our good readers over here, mind you. We just need some excitement, some mystery, don’t you think?What we need is some situation where nobody gets hurt and nobody loses anything valuable, yet we’re all still dying to know how they got away or who did it. So, like, maybe some guys could, instead of scary ski masks, slap on some of those Groucho Marx-shnoz-moustache-glasses things and use rubber bands to hold up a garbage man. Or maybe some clowns with rainbow hair could paralyze a bus driver with laughter, then take his bus – not on a joyride, but to actually complete the route.MSUR: Keep trying and get back to us when you’ve got something better. Meanwhile, we’ll be watching Court TV. They’ve got re-enactments running already showing how it was an angry Kobe who robbed the bank.***Woe, ’tis Wednesday. Do what you gotta do. Let us know how it goes at firstname.lastname@example.org, fax at (970) 668-0755 or just leave the most alliterative message (with “W”s, of course) you can on the voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.We’re out watching winter witches wax the wood …
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