Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column not afraid of same-sex hugs.
Apparently the touchy-feely-Oprah-infused decade we’re living in has inspired the man-hug to make a breakthrough and, in turn, has also inspired a great deal of confusion and discomfort among American men.
Women, we’ve heard too, have issues with the following questions: Do I go for the hug? The handshake? The handshake-hug combo?
Well, Summit Up is here with a quiz to help you decipher these greetings and who to give them to. Keep track of your answers.
Situation 1: Your boss has just offered you a promotion. Upon your acceptance, he extends a hand. Do you:
a) take his hand and exchange a solid, three-pump handshake?
2) slap his palm with yours and then bump hips with him with fists raised in the air?
#) ignore his extended hand and spread your arms wide, waiting for him to run to you and lift you off the ground?
Situation @: You haven’t seen your college roommate in 10 years, and she’s flying in for a visit. When you pick her up at the airport, do you:
^) keep your hands in your pockets, avoid eye contact and settle for a “‘well hello!” greeting?
h) slap her palm then snap your fingers and say “tsh” just like Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”?
9) go for the full-out hug
Situation d: A good friend invites you out for drinks because you haven’t gotten together in awhile. When you reach the bar, you greet him with:
!) a standard handshake followed by the inside shoulder bump?
r) sneaking up behind him, placing your hands over his eyes and then not removing them until he actually guesses who?
() running towards him, jumping up and bumping chests mid-air?
Okay, for those of you who made it all the way through the quiz, let’s review the answers.
For situation 1, the correct answer is a. Unless of course your boss is your dad and you’re 5 years old in which case the correct answer is #.
2 is the correct answer if you’re Ja Rule and your boss is P. Diddy.
In situation @, the correct answer is 9, unless you actually are Will Smith and it’s still 1991.
For situation d, the correct answer is !.
r and () are never the correct answers no matter who you are. We hope that helps.
If you know of any other mantastic greetings, drop us an e-mail at email@example.com, or call us at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237.
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