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Summit Up

Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column with an opinion about all the news fit to print and then some.Grab that newspaper, roll it up, and rap your puppy on the nose (gently), because it’s time for another edition of Summit Up On the News …Jacko leads off this week’s headlines (duh) with his unsurprising acquittal out in the land of evolutionary jurisprudence, California. This time, though, morons in the jury box can’t be blamed. A weak case, high-priced lawyers and a transparently myopic D.A. are guilty of creating this debacle. Did Tom Sneddon not realize his accusers were grifters, and their target world-famous? (And more than a bit freaky?) This is America … famous people are guaranteed the benefit of the (reasonable) doubt, unless of course the case is air-tight. Like Russell Crowe chucking a phone in the face of a concierge …Along those same skewed lines, Jacko’s lead attorney, Prince Valiant – er, Tom Mesereau – also said this week that Michael will not be sharing his bed with little boys anymore. Wow. This is like five accusers, 40 million bucks, 14 plastic surgeries and one successful pop music career too late, don’t you think?And finally in the news, with Father’s Day being celebrated today, the National Father’s Day Council recently lauded its slate of Fathers of the Year for 2005 at a big blowout bash in New York. Two of the recipients: Noted adulterer Donald Trump, and serial marrier Larry King. Are these people for real? Larry King has been married SEVEN times! The Donald has traded in an aging wife for a young chippy three times! This is like making Michael Jackson Big Brother of the Year. Our vote for Father of the Year: That worn-out Texan we saw last week chasing six little kids down the rec path with no wife in sight.***Some of us here on the dry side of Dillon Reservoir were particularly pleased with the recent news that there’ll be a new venue to tie one on this summer at the Frisco Marina. Jealousy used to run rampant here on the Tenmile coast for the fabulous waterfront Tiki Bar, enshrined in the Dillon Marina, where we’ve spent more than a few lazy summer afternoons sucking sweet Mai Tais, getting overly buzzed and then calling any friend we can think of with a car and a bike rack (after all, the Tiki Bar is maddeningly in the middle of the rec path route, halfway around the reservoir.)But we’re jealous no more, since we soon will have our own seaside watering hole, and our fine friends can expect no more emergency calls from us. We can walk our bike home just fine now, thank you.***It’s Sunday, Father’s Day, and we’ve got some last minute shopping to do. We’re out scouring the greeting card aisles …


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