Summit Up June 16, 2010: Wearing our heart on our sleeve – literally
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s gearing up to check out King Tut at the Denver Art Museum pretty soon. It’s an old story, we know, but we’re still fascinated by dudes who would build things like giant pyramids to their own perceived greatness; or how those old Egyptians were so wigged about dying that they did all that … mummy stuff. It just goes to show you that we modern types don’t have anything close to a monopoly on human weirdness – Octomoms and Rush Limbaugh notwithstanding.
Have you ever seen or read about what they did to make a mummy? We don’t get much past the part where they pull the brain out through the nose. Blech! But it’s mighty inventive – we’ll give them that. Unfortunately, although a pretty cool exhibit of “more than 100 striking, original art works spanning 2,000 years of ancient Egyptian history,” this action at the Denver Art Museum is, near as we can tell, woefully devoid of 3-D stage shows depicting brains-out-the-nose action or any other gross mummy stuff like livers in jars or hearts made into hats or whatever.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: We challenge you to think of more weird things that could be done with a no-longer-living human.
SU: Challenge accepted. Did you know, for example, that the ancient Etruscans made astrological mobiles out of the earlobes of their vanquished foes?
MSUR: Not bad, not bad.
SU: Also, in the early part of the Mayan civilization, before they did human sacrifice and pulling out hearts and all that, they used to put the dead in the fields to act as scarecrows. Not only were they really scary to look at, but they smelled rather awful and were extremely effective at scaring crows, all other wildlife and the farmers as well.
MSUR: Gross. Hit us again.
SU: The ancient Sumerians made a fad of wearing dessicated human kidneys for earrings.
SU: And those old Teutonic knights in Germany used to do weird puppet shows with plague victims, all with the public service message to stress the importance of washing your hands and covering your mouth when you coughed.
MSUR: That doesn’t ring true.
SU: Everyone’s a critic.
We’ve gotta run. Have a winsome Wednesday!
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