Summit Up: Special Tax Day edition | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up: Special Tax Day edition

Grover Norquist
Earth
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Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s celebrating Tax Day by racing around like crazy with a shoebox of receipts freaking out about The Man. Why does The Man need all our money? Why do we need that aircraft carrier in the Indian Ocean? What’s up with the $300 toilet seats? Do we really need to try to send guys to Mars?

If there’s anything that gets people more fired up than taxes, we don’t know what it is (unless the whole toilet paper under/over thing is entered into the equation). But since that strays into the forbidden realm of politics, we’re tiptoeing away from it ever so quietly …

But we will tell you this: You need to mail your taxes by midnight tonight, and last we checked, none of our local post offices are doing the “Hey, we’re open til midnight on Tax Day to help you out!” thing. So plan accordingly.

***

If you like beer …

(sounds of thousands of Summit Up readers cheering, stomping their feet, etc.)

… then you should hear this: Breckenridge Brewery received the top honor at the Breckenridge Massive Beer Festival on April 3. A vote for people’s choice of favorite beer at the festival was conducted by the Breckenridge Mountain Rotary. Each vote was a dollar and served as a fundraiser for the Breckenridge Mountain Rotary. Breckenridge Brewery had the most votes, followed by SKA Brewing Company.

The fourth annual Breckenridge Massive Beer Festival, put on by KSMT “The Mountain” (a local radio station, we believe) had 24 brewers in the mix, it says here. You should also know there will be another one of these – the Summer Breckenridge Beer Festival at Main Street Station – on July 17.

Sounds like fun. But remember folks: all things in moderation (unless it’s a can of jalapeno Pringles after a visit to the dispensary, then all bets are off).

***

This just in: “People who pursue happiness through material possessions are liked less by their peers than people who pursue happiness through life experiences, according to a new study led by University of Colorado at Boulder psychology Professor Leaf Van Boven.”

Well, no duh! They could’ve saved a ton of money on their study if they’d just driven through Summit County and asked any local why s/he is driving around in a $500 car with a coat hanger for an antenna whilst sporting a big grin cuz it was a powder day or a good day on the river or whatever. We always like those folks more than the buttknocker in the Porsche yelling at his old lady. (Did we just say that?) Or the mean rich lady with the Pomeranian and the fur coat harshing on the waitress.

Food for thought.

***

This is a Scum Alert! Scum Alert! from John going out to the owner of a pit bull that attacked a nice doggie named Ginger. John writes thusly:

“Ginger was attacked viciously by a pit bull near Carter Park Tuesday. I had to pry its jaws off of Ginger, from their she bolted and was lost, bleeding for five hours. The whole town pitched in to find her and I just wanted to thank them for their efforts. Dru the community service officer in Breck was especially helpful and spent her whole afternoon with me. It boggles my mind why someone who knew their dog was aggressive would take his dog to Carter Park, then take him off the leash. His reasoning was that no one was in the dog park at the time. The dog escaped from the park and the owner refuses to take responsibility since it was his friend that took the dog off the leash.”

Lame! Repent! Leash your vicious dogs!

We out.


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